On the Edge of Your Seat
I know you have just been dying to know what my Facebook friend’s lastest update is.
Here you go:
“ok, so the kiddo is smaller than a grain of rice here but… c’mon… have you seen a cuter piece of rice?!”
She still has the u/s photo as her profile picture. Again, who the heck posts u/s pictures in a public formum when their “kiddo” is only only the size of a grain of rice?
She is really pissing me off. I can’t unfriend her, though, because I can’t look away.
Besides, other bloggers can talk about (proto-) baby #2, and my life is just not that interesting right now.
Without A Shred of Irony
My Facebook “friend” — Ms. Fertile Myrtle — just joined this Facebook group:
“Smacking Stupid People in the Face So Hard They Might Get Smarter.”
I fucking kid you not.
Oh, and I deleted my congratulatory note to her.
Of Course
There is a new FB update: they found a heartbeat.
“OH BABY!! the kiddo has a heartbeat! Amazing… my husband and I have accomplished what millions and millions of people before us have… and it’s still a miracle!”
She changed her profile picture to the ultrasound photo. It’s still so early that the yolk sac is double the size of the “baby.”
It is taking every ounce of self-control that I have not to write, “I sure hope it keeps on beating because it would really suck to have to announce to 161 people via Facebook that the heart stopped at week 9.”
I know, I am such a bitter bitch.
A Fool and Her Peestick are (Too) Soon Posted
I have an acquaintance, actually a friend of an ex-friend, who I am “friends” with on Facebook.
She posted an update a few weeks ago that she was “officially ‘in the family way.’” I was genuinely excited for her and wrote her a little congratulatory note. I was impressed she got pregnant the very first month because they had only begun trying in February.
Well, she had gotten pregnant quickly, but not as quickly as I had assumed. I assumed that she announced it on Facebook when she was into the second trimester.
Nope.
Today her status update read: “ ________ is really excited to find out if the lima bean has a heartbeat yet…“
She posted on FB that she was pregnant the same day she got a positive pregnancy test. She had not even seen the heartbeat. She was not even a few weeks along, let alone into the second trimester.
I hope that everything is okay, I really do, but … well, if you are reading this, you know why I hesitate. Even I was not that naive before my first miscarriage.
Her friends are already planning her baby shower and all the cute gifts they are going to get her, yada, yada, yada. I think she is a fool, but maybe that is just my bitter cynicism.
Oh, To Be This Naive
Expectant Mom Carnie Wilson Reveals Baby’s Name
1. She’s 40.
2. She’s barely four months pregnant and not due until August.
3. When she found out she was pregnant, she immediately told her 3-year old daughter and they jumped up and down together in the kitchen.
4. She also drew a little family around her positive pee-stick and hung it on the door for her husband to see.
5. She openly referred to herself as a “fertile Myrtle” on broadcast television.
This is a woman who not only has never had a miscarriage; nay, this is a woman who, at 40, never even entertained the possibility of a miscarriage. She has already freakin’ publicly named the baby and she is barely 4 months pregnant. Oh, to be this naive again.
I can’t decide if I am jealous or if I really hate her.
Okay, I know I hate her but I am trying decide if perhaps I am also a wee bit jealous.
