The Long and Winding … Cycle

My laptop was in the laptop-hospital for 3.5 weeks. Waaaaaay longer that it should have taken, yes. Supposedly I spilled something in/on my keyboard and it was causing an electrical short. The funny thing is, one would think one would remember spilling something in/on one’s own keyboard, no?

Here is how pathetic I am. What I missed most about my laptop was the fact that it is the only computer that has my Ovusoft program on it. I have more than gotten my money’s worth out of it, as I am now on cycle #16. I like it much better than Fertility Friend for charting stuff, and it helps me keep track of all the medicine I take every day. It also allows you to print out your monthly charts and take them with you to the doctor (my OB and my acupuncturist are both pro-BBT, my RE wants me to use OPKs; I am super-anal-retentive an overachiever and I do both).

I started taking my temp on day 5 of this cycle. We are not trying this cycle, but after 15 cycles, it is really nice to know where you are in your cycle on any given day and when you need to stuff your purse full of feminine sanitary products. I had to write everything down on paper (quel horreur!!) and plug it in once I got my laptop back. It was then I realized that I really should have ovulated by now. Like, more than a week ago. I am currently on cycle day 22 and there is not even the slightest suggestion of a temperature rise. I even did an OPK (ovulation predictor kit) the past two nights and nothing. My LP (luteal-phase) is always 14 days on the nose (you learn a lot when you obsess over pay attention to the minute details of your menstrual cycle), so I am looking at a cycle that is, at the very minimum, 36 days long, assuming I even ovulate.

This didn’t happen after my first miscarriage and I realized why: I started popping FertilAid as soon as the bleeding stopped after the D&C (I can even tell you exact date I tool the first pill because it is all recorded in my software). My first post-miscarriage cycle was 32 days long and my second was 28 days on the nose, with a text-book perfect ovulation on day 14. My cycles stayed nearly this pretty as long as I stayed on the FertilAid and went regularly to acupuncture. This time, even though I have been going to acupuncture once a week, my first post-D&C cycle was 36 days long and this one is only going to be longer. I do think the FertilAid is what made a huge difference. The active ingredient is Vitex (also called Chasteberry) and it is a heck of a lot cheaper just to buy Vitex and take it along with my pre-natal vitamin.

I went to what my husband and I call the “hippie-vitamin store” and bought myself some Vitex. I just popped two 400-mg (the recommended dosage per the bottle) and while I don’t have much hope for this cycle, hopefully it will kick in by next cycle. In the meanwhile, I am going to keep taking my temperature, popping my Vitex, and waiting to see if I even ovulate this cycle, right after I go stuff my purse with tampons and pads.

PLEASE NOTE: Neither Ovusoft nor FertilAid offered any form of financial support for singing the praises of their product. However, should someone representing either of those brands chose to do so, I am more than happy to consider accepting a small token of your appreciation. (Hmmmmm … whatever would I like? Hey, how about a healthy baby?!?!)

July 31, 2007. Trying Again, Waiting Around is Not For Sissies. 2 comments.

Sugar and Spice and an T20(M?)

I got the karyotyping results back today.

My husband and I are both chromosomally normal.

My doctor told me in order to explain the embryonic results that came back, she had to tell me the gender. It was female.

They were able to culture 20 embryonic cells. 19 came back as “normal female” cells; 1 came back as “abnormal female” with trisomy-20 (three copies of the 20th chromosome instead of two). This could be one of two things:

1) indicative of a complete trisomy-20 in the embryo where the other 19 cells (normal female) were actually my cells

2) a “confined placental mosaicism” (CPM) where the 19 cells of the embryo were normal and the one was just an “oops” (my term, not hers) that was confined to the placenta. 90% of fetuses with CPM are born perfectly healthy (this assumes no maternal contamination happened when she collected the sample during the D&C)

While either one is possible, odds are that the embryo was abnormal because there is often a high rate of maternal cellular contamination when taking the sample from a D&C. If it came back as “normal male” in 19/20 cells, they could establish it as a mosaicism; “normal female” does not really mean much. So, it was probably a genetic error, but since we do not know for sure, we will still treat as if it could be an autoimmune problem.

What I am not going to do: use the words “daughter” or “baby girl.” This is exactly why I did not want to know the gender. In order to preserve my sanity, I must only think of it simply as an “embyonic female” or “proto-baby female.”

July 30, 2007. Miscarriage #2. 5 comments.

Desperate Times

I am going to do something desperate (no, I am not going to kidnap Pepito, or any other adorable child): I am going on a diet.

I am trying the South Beach/Adkins low-carb diet for two weeks. (I know, I know: the trendy diet alert has been sounded.) I have never actually been on a diet, but I figure I can give it two weeks, right? This is still my month “off” (as in I am not trying to get pregnant) while I let the thyroid medicine kick in, so why not? I like any diet that still lets you eat olives and fresh mozzarella cheese.

I am determined not to have to buy new clothes for the fall. I will lose weight by the start of classes at the end of August. It is equal parts vanity and penuriousness, but this extra weight has got to go and exercise alone is just not doing it.

We are having salad and pesto salmon for dinner. Mmmm.

What is a reasonable weight-loss goal for 4 weeks? I want to lose between 40 and 50 lbs, but I don’t know what a healthy weight-loss rate is. Any input?

July 27, 2007. South Beached Whale, Trying Again. 9 comments.


Yesterday, I got to play with this for hours and hours.  It was terrific, even if I didn’t get to see such an awesome snot bubble.  I did get a babyfood raspberry that was pretty impressive, though.  I can’t believe how adorable and good natured he is.  Artsweet and Pili are very, very lucky and Pepito is so very, very lucky to have such great moms.

However, I now officially hate them because they are moving to a new city and are taking Pepito with them.     

July 27, 2007. Ramblings. Leave a comment.

Miscarriage Pox

Blood thinner (baby aspirin) + acupuncture needles = very bad bruises all over your body (okay, technically along certain meridians) that are about the size of a pencil eraser

I look like some sort of training pin cushion for new phlebotomists.   

Every condition needs a name, right?  I propose the name “miscarriage pox.”  The cure is a healthy baby.   

July 26, 2007. Trying Again. 4 comments.

“They’re Real and They’re Spectacular”

I knew there had to be an upside.  Something had to give.  I am depressed, still have no baby, and overweight, there had to be something that had to be not so bad, right?

All the pregnancy hormones are gone and I still have enormous breasts.  Like huge.  Like 38DD big.

Actually, this is a missed blessing.  I have had to buy all new bras.  The tape-measurer lady said I am between a D and a DD, and in a moment of optimism, I decided for the DD because when I get pregnant again, I will get more use out of them, right?

Big-girl bras are expensive, they don’t come in all the cute styles as the 34B sizes, and I feel like I am strapped into an amusement park ride (no spaghetti straps for 38DD boobs) but my breasts are all mine, they’re real, and they’re spectacular.

(Does anyone remember the source of the title quotation?)

Edit: I had it wrong: it was “spectacular” and not “fabulous.”  Just for the record, mine are both. 

July 23, 2007. Trying Again. 6 comments.

Alphabet Soup

For those of you that know the lingo, “ttc” means “trying to conceive.”  On miscarriage boards, you will see a lot of “ttm,” which I assume means “trying to maintain.”  Well, “maintain,” for me, doesn’t quite cut it. 

How about:

ttmittftwhted = trying to make it through the first trimester without having the embryo die

tntppwttmttjktewmnpwbjf = trying not to punch people when they tell me that they “just know” that everything with my next pregnancy will be “just fine”

ttgttpwidhwasadac = trying to get to the point where I don’t have to worry about scheduling a D&C

ttmittftwfbimu = trying to make it through the first trimester without finding blood in my underwear

ttgabtddbihf = trying to grow a baby that doesn’t die before it has fingers

ttcaetdhmewbdctcffw = trying to conceive an emrbyo that doensn’t have to be monitered every week by dildo-cam to check for fetal wasting

ttgaaeiojaes = trying to grow an actual embryo instead of just an empty sac 

tthabtwlletbtoskat = trying to have a baby that will live long enough to be that obnoxious, screaming kid at Target 

July 19, 2007. Ramblings. 4 comments.

I Am Woman Hear Me … wimper

I have a “beautiful” uterus and my tubes look “great” and my bloodwork, aside from the minor thyroid problem, is “all very normal.”

I find this all very upsetting.

I wanted them to find something aside from slightly elevated TSH levels. I wanted there to be something to fix. 

I must say that after a natural miscarriage, an HSG is nothing.  I had a teeny, weeny little bit of cramping during the procedure, and some noticeable cramping after I laid down to sleep off the hydrocodone, but all and all it was not so bad.   

I am still waiting to get the results back of the karyotyping, both embryonic and parental.  I am still going to take the “magical anti-miscarriage potion” of progesterone + baby aspirin + Lovenox.  I was so sure, given my family history and my own health, that this was an autoimmune problem.  I wanted them to find something — even a fibroid or two — that could easily explain the two miscarriages.  Instead, it looks like we are in the “unknown” group and, quite frankly, I don’t really like the “unknown” group.  It is too, well, ambiguous and non-commital for my tastes. 

So what to most people is probably good news has left me a little sad.  Not up-my-Prozac-dose sad, but sad because we are still no closer to a healthy baby.  Sad because I am cleared to start trying again next month and I do not feel like there is anything I can do to actively prevent another miscarriage.     

 And sad because I have red dye running out of my bajingo. 

July 18, 2007. Trying Again. 4 comments.

“You Ain’t Never Had a Friend Like Me”

I had to call a friend and ask for a very weird favor.  What I wanted to ask: “Hey, since you have had a successful pregnancy and a gorgeous, healthy child, hows about popping one out for me?”  What I asked: “Hey, can you drive me to my HSG appointment so I can take my deliciously wonderful hydrocodone?”  She said yes, to the second one.

The HSG (where they shoot dye up your bajingo*) was originally scheduled for Monday, but they had to reschedule for Wednesday.  Not such a big deal, except that my husband will be out of town then and I can not take ibuprofen, so the only pain relief I can safely take does not mix well with driving.  Then again, Nichole Richie took hydrocodone, marijuana, and drank alcohol while driving and she is 12+ weeks pregnant now, so perhaps I should try that approach?

*The term bajingo comes from a 2002 episode of Scrubs.      

 Elliot: “Those gyno girls are putting a lot of pressure on me.  We must have looked at a hundred women’s bajingos today.  Bajingo,  bajingo,  bajingo.  I can’t even look at my own bajingo.” 

 Carla:  “Is that because it looks so much like a vagina?”

July 15, 2007. Trying Again. 2 comments.

Baby Aspirin is Not For Babies?

Baby aspirin, or “low-dose” aspirin as the bottle now reads, was originally given to babies and children.  It is 81mg, or less than a third of a typical 300mg dose.  People used to give their kids aspirin until 1963, when Dr. Reye and his colleagues published an article detailing the problems of aspirin use in children and teenagers with viruses. 

Dr. SBS wants me to start on baby aspirin as part of my magical anti-miscarriage regimen.    

My Poop doc said  in theory — aspirin could aggravate my colitis.  Baby aspirin is much lower than a typical dose, so it might not.  I can try it and if it does not agree with me, it will be pretty obvious.  (I will leave how it will be obvious to your imagination.) 

I have decided that the baby aspirin and the thyroid meds are going to work miracles.  Do you hear that universe?  Freakin’ miracles   


July 12, 2007. Little Known Facts. 2 comments.

My Favorite Number

I have a new favorite number: 5.58.  Sounds random, doesn’t it?  Well, it is my TSH (Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) level.  Dr. SBS’s office called and left me a voice mail on my cell phone that I only checked tonight, minutes before the Harry Potter movie started at 10:40PM. 

TSH works much like FSH — if your levels are high (normal is .5 to 3 or 4 (some endocrinologists even argue anything above 2 is high)) your body is having to work hard to get the right level of thyroid hormones.  No matter which range you go by, 5.58 is elevated.  This means my thyroid is not working well, or that I have a slightly hypo-thyroid. 

Why is this good news?  A hypothyroid is linked to depression, fatigue, weight gain, infertility, and recurrent pregnancy loss.  You know how to make it better?  You take a little pill that is a synthetic version of the thyroid hormone your body is supposed to produce.  It does not cross the placental barrier.  It is something you take for the rest of your life, once a day.   



Weight gain.

Recurrent pregnancy loss.   

One little pill makes all these things better. 

5.58 is the best news I have heard in a long time.   

REALIZATION:  5.58  is not really that bad in terms of thyroid function.  It is high, yes, but only slightly high.  High enough to be put on meds, high enough to be symptomatic, high enough to even cause miscarriage, but probably not high enough to cause all of my problems.  Still, even some degree of relief would be welcome. 

July 12, 2007. Trying Again. 7 comments.

“Who Does Depression Hurt?”

Have you seen that ad?  I hate that ad.  People who have depression know that it sucks and we do not need some stupid ad telling us “depression hurts everywhere” and “depression hurts everyone.”  You know what depression especially hurts?  My ability to follow through on things. 

I did not go to yoga today.  Reasons: I am bleeding super heavily; I am exhausted; noon seemed really early.  Reason I Am Focusing On So As Not to Exacerbate Depression: you are not supposed to do yoga the first three days of your menstrual cycle.  See?  I am not lazy.  I am a good yogi. 

The 90-minute hot stone massage got rescheduled for this weekend (scheduling problem with massage place).   

The HSG has to be rescheduled for later next week (doctor’s office called, another sort of scheduling snaffu).

I was supposed to go to the library to research an article that is due in a week.  I didn’t go.  I am supposed to go today.  I might go.  I might not.  I really should go.  I am having a hard time caring. 

I am planning to go to a support group tonight at Dr. SBS’s office for infertility and pregnancy loss.  I am hoping for punch and cookies and a group of women who are not freaky.  If they are freaky, I will sit silently and think snarky comments.  If they aren’t, I can tell them all how depressed I am and assure them that “depression hurts everywhere,” just like the ad says.  If that is true, is it the depression giving me monster cramps because they really hurt like hell?

Update:  Nope, didn’t make it to the support group either.  Instead, hubbie and I are going to eat Middle Eastern food, go the the library, and then go watch the new Harry Potter movie.   

July 11, 2007. Miscarriage #2. 4 comments.


The vampires took 11 vials.  5 yesterday and 6 this morning, all necessary to run the “miscarriage panel.”  This does not include the karyotyping bloodwork that my husband and I did two weeks ago.  It will take a few weeks to get all the results back.  Until then we wait.     

I saw Dr. SBS (Artsweet has nicknamed him “short-but-sweet” and he is indeed both of those things) yesterday.  He means busniess.  Once I get the okay from my Poop Doc, I will start taking Baby Aspirin.  While pregnant, I will do daily injections of Lovenox.  Now I just need to get pregant.  I am not to call anyone else when I get pregnant.  I am to call them “first thing” so they can swoop into action.  It may be all a shtick, but I really did feel like he and his office were invested in getting me pregnant and keeping me that way.  Part of their job is to be optiminstic, but he is a specialist in recurrent miscarriage, so will trust that he and his staff know what they are doing. 

I have an HSG (the “dye test”) scheduled for next Monday. 

I am going to yoga on Wednesday and getting a massage Wednesday afternoon. 

I am going to acupuncture on Friday. 

All of these things — including the acupuncture, yoga, and massage — were seen as essential components of my infertility treatment (yes, he does consider me infertile because I have been trying for over a year to get and stay pregnant).  Any doctor who recommends regular massages can’t be that bad, right?  I need to learn how to relax (you think?!?!) and help my body instead of hindering it.  Sure, okay, Dr. SBS.     

I asked about delaying conception until I lose the steriod weight; Dr. SBS didn’t want me to do this.  I can still lose the weight while trying, but should not delay because of it.  Okay, good answer.

I had a hot date with the “dildo-cam.”  Shocking news: I have a uterus and two ovaries.   

Oh, yeah, and my period started today,  5 w/1 day after my D&C. 

It is good to be onto a new cycle, but the cramps are really awful.     

Update:  Second big shocker of the day: according to my therapist I am severely depressed.  Can you believe it?  Did you just fall off your chair with suprise?  Yeah, me neither.  What did shock me, however, was when she told me that if I were not taking an antidepessant, it would probably be so severe that I would be an in-patient in a mental health facility.  I have situational depression compounded by bio-chemical depression with a hearty mix of post-partum depression just to round out the flavor, topped off with dash of anxiety.  (Ok, ok, the anxiety is really more of an appetizer, or at least a side dish.)           

July 10, 2007. Trying Again. 7 comments.

Not So Good

I had a very bad day yesterday.  The kind of bad where you can’t stop crying so you just cry and cry until you either can’t breathe or you throw up.  I had an asthma attack. 

It is one thing to have horribly negative, terrifying thoughts swimming in your head all day.  It is another thing to realize that those thoughts are impacting those around you and jeopardizing the one thing — your marriage — that you thought was going well. 

I am taking my antidepressants.  I am seeing a therapist.  I try not to dwell on how terrifically scared and sad I feel, but it is very, very hard to not think about miscarriage.  I am sad for what I lost and what I might never have.  I simultaneously feel like giving up and boldly striding forward.  I am terrified to be pregnant again and terrified not to be pregnant.  I do not trust statistics, luck, or the laws of the universe.  I wish I could make some sense of this but instead I have this petrifying fear that things are not going to ever work out the way I want them to.  Ever. 

I am ready to adopt.  I am ready to plunk down an obscene amount of money for a baby that some other woman — who ironically probably considered herself unlucky to be pregnant — birthed.  I am ready to be a mom and I do not trust that I am going to get there biologically.  I do not see it as “just” adopting; it is something that I am very committed to doing.  The question is in the timing, as it is not sane to start the adoption process while actively trying to get pregnant.  I am 32 and by waiting, even 2-3 years, I increase my risk of miscarriage just by virtue of being older.  If I want to have any biological children, this is the time to do it.   

I stared researching adoption days after my second miscarriage.  It feels very right to me.  However, I do not want to stop trying to have my own biological baby.  I want both. 

I knew I was ready for a baby because I felt a hole or an emptiness in myself without one.  The miscarriages seemed to rip that hole even larger, leaving it raw and exposed.  The emptiness seems to follow me in everything I do and everywhere I go.  I do not think this is an emptiness that is filled by antidepressants or therapy visits; it is filled with a child. 

I have two sets of papers sitting next to me: the adoption information and preliminary forms for Korea and the information packet from the RE.  We go to the RE this afternoon, but I do not have high hopes.  Anything short of “I can guarantee you a healthy baby” is not going to be good enough to quell my anxiety and pessimism. 

I start aikido tonight.  Perhaps a little Japanese martial-art training is just what I need.  At least I will not be surrounded by a bunch of happy, glowing pregnant women, which is usually the case at yoga.  I am hoping to be blissfully in the company of those who rarely, if ever, think of babies: pimply teenage boys.         

Update:  And just because life is oh-so-fair, I now how colitis-y symptoms starting.  It could be emotional fallout from yesterday, but I am not taking any chances.  I started back on Colazal and Asacol, bringing my pill total up to 48 a day, if anyone aside from me is counting.  I just can’t bear to have to delay trying to conceive because my colitis is flaring, not to mention that colits flares suck big time.  I would rather swallow all the extra pills just to be extra sure it stays under control. 

Update #2:  Guess what arrived in the mail today?  Well, Satan’s henchmen were hard at work, publishing yet another issue of Enfamil: Family Beginnings and making sure that it arrived on schedule in my mailbox.  Inside are important articles that every depressed/anxious woman who just had two miscarriages needs to read: “See What I Can Do!” (um, live more than I few weeks?); “Finding the Perfect Babysitter” (… “For Your Animals While You Are Having Your D&C”); “Let The Games Begin” (… you mean like going to a specialist to find out what the hell is wrong?).  My personal favorite, however, has got to be the closing essay, filed under “One Parent’s Thoughts” and subtitled “Extreme Makeover: From Party Animal to Proud Papa — A Changed Man Tells His Story.”  If you are not lucky enough to be on Satan’s mailing list, here is just the last sentence of the last paragraph of the essay.  “Our makeover transformed us from a couple to a family, a prize worth every minute of lost sleep, a gift I cherish every day.  Of course, a new wardrobe would have been a nice bonus, too, but I’m already counting my blessings.”  Need I say more? 


July 9, 2007. Miscarriage #2. 5 comments.

Medium Term

When I first started trying to get pregnant, I thought it might take a few months.  Once I got that coveted BFP (“big-fat positive” on a pregnancy test), it would be about another nine months until I would have a baby.  This was good: I could estimate, I could plan.  Well, here I sit, well over a year later, waiting for my first post-D&C period.  The worst part is, aside from obvioulsy being post-miscarriage, is that I have no idea how to plan for my future in the medium term.  I like to plan; it makes me feel more in control.  How do you plan for the future when you realize that so much of it is out of your control?  Do you live your life as if you might be pregnant when you very well might not be? 

When I was first pregnant, I had a trip to Europe already planned.  I would have been 7 months in March, and my OB did not think that was such a great idea.  She said we would adopt a “wait and see” approach.  Well, two weeks later I had my first D&C, so travel to Europe while pregnant was a moot point.  I went and was glad I had not cancelled everything, because it gave me something to do to take my mind off of my crushing grief. 

Here I sit, trying to decide whether to plan another trip to Europe.  (These trips are for work — I am not laying around eating bon-bons, although that sounds lovely, doesn’t it?)  I feel like I should plan it, even if I end up having to cancel it because I am too round and pregnant next March to sit in coach on an international flight.   I hate having to anticipate where I will be in 6+ months.  The answer is that I have no idea, and that stresses me out.  It could take me 6 months to even get pregnant, and who is to say that this time will be different and I will have an actual baby? 

I feel comfortable living in the next few weeks.  The short term does not scare me; I have a plan and I feel somewhat in control.  I hope that in two years I have a baby, either because I birth one or I adopt one.  It is the time between two weeks and two years — the medium term — that scares the crap out of me. 

 Waiting around is not for sissies. 

July 8, 2007. Waiting Around is Not For Sissies. 2 comments.

Masochistic Fun

Yes, I should have better things to do than play with this thing.  Yes, someone who can not seem to stay pregnant more than 10 weeks should have more important things to worry about than baby names. In my defense, I am in the midst of a baby-name emergency.  The girl’s name that my husband and I picked out years ago has appeared on a monogrammed kid’s towel in the Pottery Barn Kids catalog.  He told me it was getting very popular but seeing it right there on a towel was just too much.  Fucking Pottery Barn.   

He now wants to name a daughter after his grandmother, which I am totally in favor of in theory, except that she had a name that only a grandmother would have.  I am not sure if it isn’t just a wee bit too old-fashioned for a little girl. 


July 7, 2007. Other Links. 2 comments.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Here is a conversation I had with one of my students yesterday: 

(Necessary background information: she left early last week — visibly shaken and upset — because she went to go with her cousin who, at 25, was getting the results back from her breast biopsy.  My student’s aunt, her cousin’s mother, had died at 35 from breast cancer.)  

Me: “How is everything with your family?  Did your cousin get her test results back?” 

Student: “Yeah, yeah, she did.  She has stage IV breast cancer that has metastasized to her spine and lymph nodes.”

Me:  “Fuck.  Oh, I am so sorry.  How is she coping with the diagnosis?” 

Student: “Well, she and her sister were both being screened every 6 months for breast cancer, and this was a lump she found on her own between mammograms.  She always knew this might be a reality, but she did not expect it at 25.”

Me:  “I don’t think anyone expects it at 25.” 

Then I proceed to tell her about one of my high-school friends whose mom lived for 7+ years with stage IV breast cancer.  We talked about chemo, radiation, etc… , and how medicines that can save your life can have very unpleasant side effects.  I told her my friend, who was only three years older than I at 35, was thinking of having children, but she was not sure if she wanted to potentially pass the cancer gene that had killed both her mother and grandmother on to a daughter.  If she adopts instead, she is seriously considering having a radical mastectomy, just to abate the risk.

Student: “Wow, that is really bad.”

Me: “Having a mastectomy before even having a cancer diagnosis?  Well, I think it will give her peace of mind and she is planning to have reconstructive surgery.  It must be so hard to even have to think like that.” 

Student: “No, I meant having a baby after 35.  They are usually born with Down Syndrome.  It’s just not a smart thing to do.”   

I thought of launching into a complex explanation of the hows and whys of chromosomal abnormalities, how these relate to the age of the mother, etc … , but I was just too tired, and, frankly, I just did not want to lecture this poor kid. 

I am sure when you are in your early twenties, thirty-five seems very, very far away.       


July 6, 2007. Ramblings. 5 comments.

People I Would Like to Run Over With My Car

… because I am just that bitter.




People For Whom Death By Car Is Too Nice



July 5, 2007. Celebrity Fertility Smut. 4 comments.


NOTE: This is a post about how many pills I take a day.  If you thought anything different, well, sorry.

I have a chronic medical condition, so taking tons o’ pills is nothing new to me.  However, as I sit here and swallow my retinue of pills, I can’t help but wonder just how big a weirdo I am for taking this quantity of pills every day. 

Here is my swallowing schedule:


20mg Prozac x 2

1 Pharmanex Life-Pak Prenatal (3 pills)

Brewer’s Yeast Tablets x3

Fiber Capsules X6

B-6 Supplement (2 pills)

B-Complex (2 pills)

Acidolpholus Capsule

Omega-3 Capsules x2


Brewer’s Yeast Tablets X3

Fiber Capsules x 6


1 Pharmanex Life-Pak Prenatals (3 pills) [You take them twice a day; not a typo.] 

Brewer’s Yeast Tablets x3

Fiber Capsules x6

Pro-Biotic Power (that I have to mix in a non-carbonated liquid, but I still have to swallow it)

For a grand total of  40 pills per day.

This is my maintenance routine.  If my colitis flares, I take 20+ more pills a day.  When I am pregnant, I “just” take the pro-biotics, prenatals, prozac and the fish oil. 

Does anyone have me beat?  What do you swallow every day (non-pornographic answers only, please)? 

July 4, 2007. Ramblings. 3 comments.

The Plan

I got a cancellation appointment with our local RE, Dr. Short-But-Sweet, next Monday.  We have not had a chance to run any of the tests yet, save for our karyotyping, but I will show him what my OB has ordered and see what he wants to do.  I also want to ask him about my weight and when I can/should start trying to get pregnant again.

I bought a pedometer and am going to try and take 10,000 steps a day.  I don’t mind going to the gym when it is cold outside, but it seems wrong to exercise inside when the weather is nice.  I will still need to go the gym to lift weights, but I will do my cardio outside in the sunshine (with proper SPF on, of course). 

I am limiting myself to one Diet Coke a day and am trying to drink sparkling water or Arizona Green Tea the rest of the day.  Yeah, there are probably better things for me than Arizona Green Tea, but the bottle is pretty, it tastes good, and it is certainly better for me than Diet Coke.  Next week, I might try and give up the Diet Coke completely.   

I started acupuncture to help regulate (or re-regulate) my hormones.  Last Friday was my first appointment and I will go once a week.  Once I get the karyotyping back (to see if the miscarriage can easily be attributed to chromosomal abnormalites), we will proceed to herbs and/or different acupuncture points.  The two times I got pregnant was when I did acupuncture to boost fertility, and it also helps with my colitis.  Even if it is hocus-pocus (and I don’t believe it is) it is super-relaxing and that is never a bad thing. 

I am thinking about doing either yoga or aikido.  I have done yoga but never aikido, and I am leaning towards something new and different.  However, yoga is definitely more pregnancy-friendly, which is probably a better long-term choice.      

July 3, 2007. Waiting Around is Not For Sissies. 1 comment.