I Am Woman Hear Me … wimper

I have a “beautiful” uterus and my tubes look “great” and my bloodwork, aside from the minor thyroid problem, is “all very normal.”

I find this all very upsetting.

I wanted them to find something aside from slightly elevated TSH levels. I wanted there to be something to fix. 

I must say that after a natural miscarriage, an HSG is nothing.  I had a teeny, weeny little bit of cramping during the procedure, and some noticeable cramping after I laid down to sleep off the hydrocodone, but all and all it was not so bad.   

I am still waiting to get the results back of the karyotyping, both embryonic and parental.  I am still going to take the “magical anti-miscarriage potion” of progesterone + baby aspirin + Lovenox.  I was so sure, given my family history and my own health, that this was an autoimmune problem.  I wanted them to find something — even a fibroid or two — that could easily explain the two miscarriages.  Instead, it looks like we are in the “unknown” group and, quite frankly, I don’t really like the “unknown” group.  It is too, well, ambiguous and non-commital for my tastes. 

So what to most people is probably good news has left me a little sad.  Not up-my-Prozac-dose sad, but sad because we are still no closer to a healthy baby.  Sad because I am cleared to start trying again next month and I do not feel like there is anything I can do to actively prevent another miscarriage.     

 And sad because I have red dye running out of my bajingo. 

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July 18, 2007. Trying Again.

4 Comments

  1. akeeyu replied:

    I am simultaneously explained and unexplained. They seem to have a pretty good handle on why I don’t get pregnant, but they have no IDEA why I miscarry. Which sucks.

    I used to think that explained was worse, because then you had a diagnosis that would follow you around forever, but I have recently started thinking unexplained is worse, because you never really know what the fuck is going on.

    Either way, I’m sorry about your bajingo.

  2. niobe replied:

    It’s like: if they don’t know what’s wrong, how can they possibly fix it? But either way — explained or unexplained — is hard.

  3. Ms. Planner replied:

    I recently got the low progesterone + unexplained (or, “case of bad luck” as my RE put it) diagnosis for my miscarriages. And boy was I pissed. I wasn’t even relieved that nothing was really wrong with me.

    I soooo know how you feel, sister.

  4. Suzanne replied:

    Hi,

    I found your blog through the Baby Loss Directory, and I’m very sorry for all of your pain.

    I, too, have had repeat first trimester losses and have a lovely set of girl parts. Yay me! My TSH was also slightly off, but not considered problematic…whatever. Did the docs do ALL the thyroid tests for you? There are four different things they can evaluate, and if they did not evaluate all four (they usually don’t), the ask them to.

    Mary Shomon, http://thyroid.about.com/cs/bookspublications/a/bestbooks.htm who was hired as the about.com thyroid guide, has an excellent book you might like to read, if you have not already, that speaks to the fact that docs avoid some tests and misinterpret others. What is slightly outside the normal range for ALL people could be WAY outside the normal range for women like me and you with recurrent loss. I, too, think recurrent loss with an autoimmune history in the family are likely connected.

    I’m so sorry for all you are going through.

    Best,
    Suzanne

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