Ignorance is Not Bliss

According to my OPK results, I am between 12dpo and 13dpo; according to my temperature rise, I am between 10dpo and 11dpo.

Normally, this would not really be a big deal.  In the scheme of things, being able to determine that I am somewhere between 10-13dpo is actually pretty good.

Except today it really, really sucks.

I woke up this morning, took my HPT (negative) and then realized I was bleeding.  I assumed that my period was starting, except that as soon as the bleeding started, it seemed to stop.

If I am 13dpo, it is probably just premenstrual spotting.  I have a very regular 14-day luteal phase (and months of charts to document this), so spotting on day 13 is not abnormal for me.

If I am 10dpo, however, it could be (all together now!!) implantation spotting.

Usually my temperature drops the day before my period, but it is still up today.

Ignorance is not bliss.   

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August 31, 2007. Trying Again. 6 comments.

Selfish Thoughts

Let me preface this post with this: I really, really, really want to be pregnant.

Today I had to start making plans for my European trip in March and now I am very excited to travel.  I went last year and had an amazing time, even though Mr. MC was not able to go with me.  This year I will travel to Spain and France and the trip will be amazing (I should know as I did most of the planning myself).

If I am pregnant (2 more negative HPTs today) this cycle, the trip is not going to work because I will be too far along (ha!! she thinks: wishful thinking!) to travel internationally.  I was pregnant the same time last year (miscarriage #1) and had a trip to Europe planned for the same time that my OB was not very happy about.  A moot point because I found out I had a blighted ovum two weeks later, but I don’t think flying around the world in the third-trimester sans husband is ever really a good idea.

So, I would not go so far as to say that I do not want to get pregnant this cycle.  If I am, I will be thrilled.  If I am not, however, this probably means that I can go to Europe.  Given my history, I feel awful for even letting a part of me be okay with not being pregnant, but the truth is, a part of me will be okay — perhaps even a little happy? — if I get pregnant in the next few months instead of this month.

August 30, 2007. Miscarriage #1, Trying Again. 6 comments.

Compromise

I have decided to compromise between Fertility Friend and Ovusoft and peg my ovulation on Monday, August 20th. This means that I got to live 9dpo all over again today, complete with breast tenderness, cramping, and a blindingly white negative pregnancy test.

The good news is that school has started, so I am too busy to really commit to the insanity/obsession of the tww full-time now. Explaining the nuances of the female menstrual cycle to a lecture hall full of first-semester freshmen would be very unprofessional and completely off topic; having them vote my potential date of ovulation just might be grounds for dismissal.

Here is my chart complete with ovulation override. Any thoughts?

August 29, 2007. Trying Again. 5 comments.

Reasons It Will Be Okay Not To Be Pregnant This Cycle:

In no particular order:

1. Increasing my chances of getting to go to Europe in March (if I am pregnant this cycle and the embryo actually lives this time I will probably not be allowed to fly by mid-March)

2. One more month of losing weight (down 9 lbs so far!!)

3. One more month to pay down our debt

4. One more month of getting to drink lots and lots of wine

5. One more month of getting to eat delicious soft-cheeses

Okay, that is all I can come up with.

So much for this exercise in positive thinking.

The Europe-thing is pretty big (Spain and France) but I will be more than happy to postpone my trip if I am still pregnant at that point (and we all know how well that has worked out the past two times).

August 28, 2007. Trying Again. 1 comment.

Mysteries of the Female Body

My body, the same body I have lived in for the past 32 years, still confounds me.

I am 9dpo and have already taken 4 5 (one at 7dpo and 8dpo; two this morning — different brands, just to be sure — and one this afternoon) HPTs and gotten negative results all four times. Yes, I know it is early. Yes, I am a masochist for testing this early and this often. Yes, I have a problem.

Here’s the kicker: I do have “symptoms” but these “symptoms” (I put the word in quotations because I am not sure this isn’t all psychosomatic) only seem to appear in cycles when I am not pregnant. The two times I was pregnant I had the sore breasts and cramps, but only after I got a positive test. The months where I cramp and have horribly sore breasts just about this time in the cycle, the results are never good.

I had cramps so badly these past two days that I seriously considered putting on a pantyliner, just in case. My breasts are also sore, but not too painful. I am peeing all the time, but that could also be residual UTI irritation.

Why do PMS and early pregnancy share exactly the same list of symptoms? Couldn’t evolution have figured out a way to let us know we are pregnant?

“Well, Jill, my left toe is swollen again and my earlobes are burning — I must be pregnant!”

Update:  Just to add to the insanity, I typed in all of my information into FertilityFriend and it only thinks I am 7dpo — a two day difference.  This tww is dragging on seemingly forever.

August 28, 2007. Trying Again. 3 comments.

Poetry (or Evidence that the 2WW Will Make You Crazy)

Pee, pee, the magic juice

The more you test, the more you deduce

The more you deduce the better you’ll feel

(Unless you are a total freak and test waaaaaay to early in your tww for there to really even be anything but, hey, you never know, right?)

So pee on sticks before your morning meal!

. . . . .

Pee, pee the magic sage

If you get the wrong answer, it might evoke rage

So pee on your sticks but please beware

Not to get pee on your underwear

. . . . .

Pee, pee the magic sauce

But it can’t predict a pregnancy loss

You may feel great when you see that line

But it won’t guarantee that things will be fine

. . . . .

Pee, pee — a magic elixir?

But we don’t know what’s wrong, so how can we fix ‘er?

Just cross your fingers and hold your breath

That this one doesn’t end in death

August 27, 2007. Attempts at Humor, Trying Again. 9 comments.

9 Days Until It Is Over

I hate the two-week wait. It is so unbelievably awful and makes you feel like you are slowly going crazy.

Right after ovulation, once you get the thermal shift or know that you have ovulated, there is very little temptation to test because you know that it is way to early to know anything. It is impossible for there to be any symptoms yet (for those who get early symptoms) because it is too early for anything exciting to have implanted yet.

5-9 days past ovulation an especially awful period. Implantation usually takes place between days 7 and 10, so this would not be too early for something to have implanted, but probably too early for any HCG to actually appear in your pee in any detectable levels. It is the halfway point and you feel like you are slowly going crazy. Are you feeling a pain in your left-hand side (yes, but it has been there since before I ovulated and is probably a cyst)? Are you cramping? Did you temperature take a slight dip? (Mine has not yet this cycle — believe me, I am watching for it) Is that an implantation dip? Is there even such a thing as an implantation dip? If an implantation dip happens in the forest and there is no one there to obsess about it, is it really an implantation dip?

The third phase (based on a 14-day luteal phase) is 9 to 13 days past ovulation. Now you have to answer the evil question: to test or not to test. There are two schools of thought: it is better to start POAS as soon as possible or it is better to wait and test as late as possible. The first will satiate your urge to POAS, but if you are not pregnant you will have to endure a lot of glaringly white HPTs; the second will allow you to remain hopeful for a few more days, but the drama of taking that one test can completely push you over the edge. The last phase is full of challenges: if you have a string of negative tests, you will probably be ready to accept the inevitable; if you have waited to test, the combination of raging PMS and the negative test can wreck havoc on your emotional state.

Once your temperature drops, you start spotting (if you spot) or you start your period, usually the PMS has abated but then it really sinks in: I am not pregnant. (If the PMS has not abated, this statement is probably preceded or followed by lots of swear words and/or tears).

I am 5 days past ovulation and I already feel my sanity crumbling. I have over-analyzed all of my past charts (pregnancy and non-pregnancy) to see how alike/different they are from the previous cycle. I have obsessed over the fact that it took several days for my temperature to go up and wondered if our timing, due to the UTI debacle, completely takes us out of the running. I have read all the sources I can find that talk about slow temperature rises (Fertility Friend and Peeonastick) and have learned almost nothing. I even plugged in all of my information to Fertility Friend to see if they came up with a different ovulation date to no avail (the result was inconclusive).

I hate, hate, hate, hate this: 9 days until it is over.

August 24, 2007. Trying Again. 7 comments.

Trapped

They’re baaaaaaaack….

Today is the first day of new student orientation at the university where I teach. The place is crawling with students and their parents. It is terrifying (summer is really over) and I want nothing more than to go home and pretend that classes do not start in a few days.

I had meetings all morning, and at 2PM, shaking with hunger, I popped in the student center to grab some lunch. Just as I walked in the door, I realized that this place too is packed to the brim with the students and their parents. Just then a huge clap of thunder sounded, as if in direct relation to my emotion. Then it sunk it what the thunder meant — I am trapped in here until the storm stops.

So here I sit, in the midst of all these anxious and nervous families, trying to look like I am doing something important with my laptop. When my parents dropped me off at college I could not wait for them to leave. I hated high school and college to me symbolized freedom: from my old-self, from my school, and from my parents. I went 500+ miles away from home and sometimes even that did not feel far enough away. These kids do not seem to want their parents to leave them (one girl next to me was even crying) and seem hesitant to embark on their newly independent life.

I first started teaching full-time when I was 24, not much older than the upperclass students in my courses. Now I am 32 and I realize I relate more to the parents of these students than the students themselves. There is nothing in the world like 18-year olds and their parents to make you feel mature and responsible.

This is going to be a hard year for these students. They are going to have to grow and change and that is never easy, even if it is for the better. Most of what they learn will occur outside of the classroom — “life lessons” — but I do my part to try and inspire them in the classroom as well.

I wonder what I would say to my 18-year old self. Would I tell myself what to expect? Would I want to know about the heartache and the miscarriages? I would want to tell myself, but at 18-years old I would not want to know what lay ahead. That is how I am trying to approach my life now. Would 40-year old me want to tell me what is coming or is it just better to live life as it comes? I still do not think I want to know the future. It is hard enough dealing with what comes along every day.

In the words of Paul McCartney:

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, rah [or bra or there, depending on what you hear]

La-la how the life goes on.

My song edit:

And on. And on. And on. And on. And on.

Especially when you are trying unsuccessfully to have a baaaaaay-bi-da.

August 23, 2007. Ramblings. 8 comments.

She Ovulate(s)(ed)

I woke up this morning and excitedly took my temperature at 7AM: it went up .7 degrees.

Finally, the blessed thermal shift.

And now, back to planet Earth and the rest of my life …

August 22, 2007. Trying Again. 9 comments.

The Election Results Are In

The public vote was clear: sex!!! tonight!!!

Luckily for my bajingo and my still-sore lower abdomen, this is a benevolent dictatorship and not a democracy. It is not going to happen tonight.

I have had, ahem, other indicators (CP and CM, if you know what those mean; if you don’t, just trust me on this) that indicate that I have ovulated. All of the OPKs I have taken since the positive test have been negative. I am hoping this is just a wonky temperature delay. Women usually ovulate 12-36 hours after a positive OPK, but it can take a little longer. Temperature shifts usually happen within 24-hours of ovulation but can go a little longer. In other words, there is a slim chance I am still in the game this cycle.

My fear is that sex will aggravate the UTI (I have not yet been on the medicine for 24 hours) and then have to go on a longer course of antibiotics that really messes up my system. Three days scares me; any longer and I might as well just resign myself to the colitis flare. If my colitis flares, I can not try and get pregnant until it is back in remission, which can take months.

Mr. MC also thinks waiting is probably the best idea.

Damn the both of us for being so practical.

How sad is it that I can not wait to go to bed tonight so that I can take my temperature at 7AM tomorrow?

Loser Update: I went through all of my charts and looked to see how long it took my temperature to rise after a positive OPK in past months. It ranged from two days to four days, so this delay is actually not unusual for me. The two times I got pregnant it took my temperature four days to rise, and those are the cycles where I know without a doubt that I ovulated. Not that this means anything.

Even Bigger Loser Update: I looked through a lot of Fertility Friend charts and while certainly not the norm, there are plenty of women who achieved pregnancy with a delayed temperature shift after a positive OPK.

August 21, 2007. Trying Again. 3 comments.

Why I Kind of Really Hate Being a Girl

There once was a girl, MC, who was trying to get pregnant. So she peed on lots of sticks telling her when she was super-fertile and had lots of sex with Mr. MC.

When you are trying to get pregnant, it is sage wisdom that you lay around on your back after sex with your hips propped up. When you are prone to UTIs, you have to get up and pee “right away” (doctor’s orders). Obviously, you can’t do both, so you have to choose between procreating and fending off a potential infection. She chose to compromise and lay around for a few minutes, but then get up to pee. Now she has a UTI.

This UTI makes her bajingo & co. very uncomfortable and her lower abdomen very tender, neither of which make for great sex. She figures, however, that she has probably already ovulated and that her temperature would go up in the morning, demonstrating this fact.

Except that her temperature did not go up this morning, which is three days after she got a positive OPK pee-stick. Sage wisdom suggests that sex today would be a good idea, as there is not yet confirmation of ovulation. BUT she is on antibiotics for her UTI. Sage wisdom also suggests the following formula: sex + antibiotics = raging mother of all yeast infections.

She really does want a baby and realizes that this cycle may be out.

Is this an anovulatory cycle?

Did she ovulate a wee bit late and her temperature just has not responded yet?

Is her body just messing with her?

How many cranberry capsules can one consume without actually turning into a cranberry?

Why is the 7-day generic Monistat less expensive than the 3 or 1-day packs?

Why is there a big sticker on her antibiotics that says “DISCUSS WITH YOUR DOCTOR/PHARMACIST BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO BECOME PREGNANT” when the doctor never mentioned anything to me when she told the nurse explicitly that she was trying to get pregnant this cycle.

Why do men not have to worry about any of this?

Click here if you like to look at charts.

August 21, 2007. Trying Again. 7 comments.

And I Know From Ugly

I hate to say it, but I was right. I have a bladder infection brewing, but, thankfully, I just took my first dose of antibiotic that will hopefully take care of it. I was lucky because I didn’t have to sit through the always pleasant, “do you pee right after sex?” talk because instead he just gave me a patient-education brochure about urinary tract infections.

As was suggested, I did try to go to the drug store and buy the dip test (oh, how I love to pee in a cup and dip things into it!!!) but they did not have any. Neither did the larger drug store across town. I decided to go to urgent care instead of waiting until tomorrow.

After a long wait in a busy waiting room, I peed into a cup, told them I might be pregnant (I might be, right?), and waited. Three minutes later, the doctor came in, told me I had an infection, gave me an Rx script to fill tomorrow, and then sent the nurse in with a dose of the antibiotic to take right then.

My temperature has not gone up, so technically we should try and do the deed again tonight until I can “confirm” ovulation, but since my nether-regions feels like they are on fire (and not it a good way), it is not going to happen tonight.

The antibiotics I was trying to avoid for my sinus infection (which cleared up on its own) I now have to take for my UTI. I am only on the medicine for three days, but that is all it took last time after my first D&C. All I can do is take my probiotics in much higher doses and keep taking my brewer’s yeast and hope that it keeps things under control.

There is also a risk that the particular antibiotic I am on impacts folic-acid absorption, but I take an extra B-complex (which I will now double up on while I take the antibiotic), in addition to my prenatals, so I should have more than enough in my body to allow for a few days disruption. If I am pregnant, I will be done with the antibiotics before implantation could even occur.*

This two-week wait is off to a fantastic start.

*The urgent care, however, failed to inform me of any of this even after I told them I might be pregnant. I am not sure if it was the “might” at the beginning of the sentence or that they had a full waiting room, but I had to find all of this out on my own once I got home and did my own research.

August 20, 2007. Trying Again. 2 comments.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

The good: I am pretty sure I ovulated yesterday.  My temperature hasn’t gone up yet, but it usually takes my body 48 hours to process the “Hey!  We ovulated!” message from my ovary/corpus luteum.  I will only worry if it has not gone up tomorrow.

The bad: that weird pain in my LH side is still there.  Cyst?  Probably.  Perforated bowel?  Not likely.  Am I still going to worry about something exotic?  Most definitely.

The ugly:  I think I am getting a bladder infection.  If things don’t get markedly better by tomorrow AM, I will pop over to my OBs for a non-pregnancy “pee-in-the-cup” test. I am off to drink as much water as I can possibly ingest, along with my trusted cranberry capsules, to see if I can fend this thing off.

August 20, 2007. Trying Again. 2 comments.

My Ovaries Just Like Books

No, my ovaries did not read the latest Harry Potter nor are they up to speed on Freakonomics. They like textbooks, specifically medical textbooks that think every single woman in the world ovulates on day 14, and has a perfect 28-day cycle.

Usually, I am a late ovulator but through the wonder of acupuncture, vitex, and a new cycle pattern post-miscarriage #2, I am going to have a perfect day 14 ovulation and, because my luteal-phase is 14 days, a perfect 28-day cycle.

I got a positive OPK yesterday and my temperature was still low this morning, so I probably ovulated today — textbook perfect.

My Ovusoft thinks our timing was the “best” possible (the other options being “low” and “good”) so as soon as my temperature goes up, I will officially be in the two-week wait. As anyone who has ever lived through the dreaded two-week wait, time slows to a screeching halt. It really is a form of torture.

Things I have going for me this cycle: lower thyroid levels (better fertility); second post-HSG cycle (higher pregnancy rates up to 3 months later); confirmation that my husband has super-sperm (which we suspected but now know); weekly acupuncture treatments for the past 6 weeks for fertility.

And now we wait.

August 19, 2007. Trying Again, Waiting Around is Not For Sissies. 3 comments.

I’m a Blogger; I’m a Girl; I’m Rockin’?

Niobe thinks I am a Rockin’ Girl Blogger. The award itself doesn’t translate into much (there is no cash prize or free healthy baby giveaway) but it is such an honor to be named as such by someone who writes one of my favorite blogs.

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From what I can deduce, I know get to nominate my favorite five Rockin’ Girl Bloggers for this award.

In alphabetical order, they are:

A Brief History of You: Anns is one of the few people who can write about the heartbreak of miscarriage, information about her uterine polyp removal, and her “Quest to Find the Perfect Shoes,” in such an endearing way.

Artificially Sweetened: I know ArtSweet IRL, but even if I didn’t I would love her blog. She is bitter, acerbic, and funny as heck. Also, pictures of Pepito always make me smile.

Babies or Not?: Amy has a fascinating story, one that continues to unfold, and I find myself checking back several times a day to see if she has posted. She is brutally honest, touchingly vulnerable, and writes in such a way that is poignant and engaging.

Into the Rabbit Hole: Alice just got some back news, and for anyone who has been there, it is painful to read. Sometimes she has lots to say, sometimes she is dramatically brief, but reading her blog makes me want to be her friend.

Ms. Planner: Ms. Planner and I are in almost the exact same situation with regards to our miscarriages and our lives, so sometimes I feel like I am reading conversations I have had with myself, but that is not the only reason I enjoy her blog. Her 3 August 2007 post, “About That Job Thing,” is a hauntingly beautiful piece of writing.

August 18, 2007. Other Links, Uncategorized. 1 comment.

Deep (non-procreation) Thoughts:

Would the show Beauty and the Geek (geeky men and “beautiful” women) work in reverse?? Would people tune in to watch geeky women and “beautiful” men? [NOTE: I put beautiful in quotation marks because I actually find some of the women not so very attractive.]

More importantly, why am I up at 11:12PM on a Friday night playing solitaire, reading infertility/miscarriage blogs, and wondering about the plausibility of the inverse of Beauty and the Geek?

August 17, 2007. Ramblings. 2 comments.

Things That Piss Me Off (8/17/07 Edition)

1. Another negative OPK test.

2. Cramping on my left side that feels like ovary pain, but could be something else.

3. Spotting mid-cycle.

4. Knowing that there is nothing seriously wrong with my bajingo & co. (given how much it has been photographed in the past few months), that it is probably just a cyst, and that it will most likely go away on its own.

5. News reports that talk about the baby boom in Denver after a blizzard 9 months ago. They interviewed several women who just “needed to keep warm” or were “bored.” Then they had sex without birth control, got pregnant, and had healthy babies.

6. Did I mention the weird pain on my LH side? Last time I had this pain it was a minor cyst that resolved in a few weeks. Of course, it could also be something more exotic, like a perforated bowel.

7. Spotting mid-cycle can be a sign that you are “fertile” but not if your stupid OPK has not turned positive. If you bleed a little after you ovulate, it may be just from ovulation itself. If you bleed before ovulation, you are clearly a freak and probably have a perforated bowel, or something like that.

8. The fact that I have walked around all morning not realizing that my t-shirt was see-through.

9. OPKs that have a second line that looks really, really dark, but isn’t quite yet positive.

10. Ragweed. I hate it. I am highly allergic to it. It is blooming, making my sinuses unhappy, and thus making me unhappy.

11. Swallowing my Mucinex, running out of beverage, having it sit on my tongue and dissolve a little, gagging (it tastes awful), running to get more beverage, and finally rinsing it down, but not before the nasty taste has permeated my entire mouth. Then being stupid enough to repeat the entire scenario 4 hours later.

12. RE’s offices who don’t call you back with lab results and then, when you finally get them on the phone, realize that the lab did not do all the tests that were requested, because their office wrote down the procedure codes instead of the names of the tests.

13. Having to go back to the vampires to have more blood drawn to retest what the lab didn’t test in the first place, because my RE’s office wrote down the procedure codes instead of the names of the tests.

14. People who work at labs who are too fucking lazy to look up what their own procedure codes mean.

15. Realizing that my dry OPK now really, really looks like the two lines are the same color.

16. Not having someone here to ask if the OPK lines are the same color and realizing that asking your male teen-age neighbor is probably very tacky.

17. People who Google “female hormones for sissy husband” and get this blog. Actually, I don’t mind that they get this blog so much as what they are Googling. I mean if he is super-sissy, do you think he needs female hormones? (Then again, female hormones, or an excess of certain kinds, make me a huge bitch.  Maybe that is what she was after?)

August 17, 2007. Trying Again, Waiting Around is Not For Sissies. 7 comments.

Another Exciting Episode of “As the Luteinizing Hormone Rises”

I just took my second OPK of the day (because I am super-anal very thorough) and it is still negative. At least today they are obviously negative, so I did not have to induce a case of near pee-stick induced blindness.

I am only on cycle day 11, so I am still on track to have that perfect day 14 ovulation, but I just wish I would go ahead and ovulate already. I am so tired of waiting, period. (Not to be confused with waiting for my period, which is a different form of torture.)

I have this new fear that ovulating late (this last pregnancy I ovulated on day 20 of my cycle; the previous pregnancy was day 16) is causing my miscarriages. There is no real medical evidence that this is the case, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying about it. Stupid Dr. Google. My thyroid is a much more likely culprit, I know, but I can’t stop this irrational fear from filling my head now that the thyroid is under control.

My other worry: I will have to go on antibiotics for my brewing sinus infection. I know a lot of people do not like antibiotics, but I am now really, really wary of them. I have had c-diff and I have colitis, so antibiotics wreck havoc on my gastrointestinal system. If my colitis flares, I can not try and get pregnant. Aaaaaaack. Until then, I will keep taking guaifenesin (for my nose, not my bajingo), doing my saline nasal rinses, and sleeping away most of the day.

August 16, 2007. Trying Again, Waiting Around is Not For Sissies. 4 comments.

Tromp l’oeil*

The last time I used an OPK (ovulation predictor kit) was in April, and damn if these little buggers aren’t hard to read. I know they make the ones that make a smiley face when they are positive, but I am too cheap to buy those ($39.95 for 7 tests = $5.70 each). Instead, I buy a ton of internet OPKs (about $1.00 each) and squint, stare, and nitpick myself into a state of near-blindness.

I think my pee-stick turned positive because the two lines are almost the same color, but I have finally determined that I just can’t tell. I also remembered, too late this time, that when you take B-vitamins in the morning, it turns your afternoon pee fluorescent highlighter yellow, which makes reading the little pink lines even more difficult because the test, of course, sucks up the bright yellow coloring. My pee-stick looks like it has jaundice.

How many little sticks, OPKs and HPTs, have I stared intently at over the past year or so, trying to see something that perhaps wasn’t there? HPTs have more innate drama — “YOU ARE PREGNANT” or “YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT” is a lot more interesting that a surge of luteinizing hormone — but you really are only looking for that second line. I have been led astray by evaporation lines, but only when I used the tests from Babyhopes.com. Otherwise, my negative HPTs have always been blindingly white. OPKs, however, are a different kind of evil. I always feel like I am at the eye doctor: “Which line is darker, the one on the right or the one on the left?” “Uh, um, the right, no, wait, um, left. Yes, left it is. Or is it the right one? I can’t tell. Could they be the same?”

Maybe I should just buy the smiley face sticks after all. The sun just shifted from behind a cloud, and in pure sunlight, the stupid OPK looks slightly less positive. (Or does it? Yeah, this time I really think it is negative-ish.)

Update: My husband, who will be Mr. MC until I think of something wittier, confirmed that the OPK is indeed negative. Apparently pee-stick induced blindness is a female-only problem.

Update Part Deux: Like manna from heaven, there are now internet OPKs that now produce just one line to indicate a positive result. They are available from Babywishes.com. Once I use up all my other OPKs, I will buy some of these and, of course, write a product review.

Update Part Trois: I took another OPK this evening and it was very obviously negative. Stay tuned for another exciting episode of “As the Luteinizing Hormone Rises.”

*Tromp l’oeil, for those of you that don’t speak French, means “trick of the eye.”

August 15, 2007. Trying Again. 9 comments.

South Beached Whale

I have been on the South Beach diet for 2.5 weeks and have lost a whopping 6lbs. I think this is good, but when you start out at such a high number, 6lbs. seems like nothing. Oh, and my husband managed to lose twice that amount in the same 2.5 weeks.

I only cheated during the first two weeks by accident: I didn’t realize raisins were a no-no until the book arrived in the mail and I thought tapioca (in my sugar-free bubble tea) was a vegetable. (Guess what? Tapioca is a starch.) Aside from those two incidents, I have been really, really good.

I know that men tend to lose weight faster (no estrogen) and that I am still contending with a hypothyroid, but I still wish the weight just melted away. I wish I were 12lbs. lighter, too. Between the steroids for colitis and the hypothyroid, my metabolism is sluggish. My thyroid book recommends weight-training, which I actually enjoy, to help kick-start your metabolism. I will go tonight to the gym.

I am now onto Phase II of South Beach where you start to add back “good” carbohydrates. This is good because it gives you more culinary options but bad because it slows down the weight loss. Yesterday morning I made oatmeal, which is allowed, but only if it is not instant. (It took 30-minutes to cook my “Irish porridge” and while stirring it I pretended I was a super-fertile Irish house-wife and this was a nourishing meal for my enormous family.) It was delicious with skim-milk and sugar-free syrup.

I don’t feel all that big but when I see pictures of myself, I think I look like a beached whale — a South Beached whale. I also do not want to buy any more clothes, so I am hoping the weight continues to come off.

Unless I get pregnant, of course.

August 14, 2007. South Beached Whale, Trying Again, Waiting Around is Not For Sissies. 5 comments.

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