Things That Piss Me Off (8/17/07 Edition)
1. Another negative OPK test.
2. Cramping on my left side that feels like ovary pain, but could be something else.
3. Spotting mid-cycle.
4. Knowing that there is nothing seriously wrong with my bajingo & co. (given how much it has been photographed in the past few months), that it is probably just a cyst, and that it will most likely go away on its own.
5. News reports that talk about the baby boom in Denver after a blizzard 9 months ago. They interviewed several women who just “needed to keep warm” or were “bored.” Then they had sex without birth control, got pregnant, and had healthy babies.
6. Did I mention the weird pain on my LH side? Last time I had this pain it was a minor cyst that resolved in a few weeks. Of course, it could also be something more exotic, like a perforated bowel.
7. Spotting mid-cycle can be a sign that you are “fertile” but not if your stupid OPK has not turned positive. If you bleed a little after you ovulate, it may be just from ovulation itself. If you bleed before ovulation, you are clearly a freak and probably have a perforated bowel, or something like that.
8. The fact that I have walked around all morning not realizing that my t-shirt was see-through.
9. OPKs that have a second line that looks really, really dark, but isn’t quite yet positive.
10. Ragweed. I hate it. I am highly allergic to it. It is blooming, making my sinuses unhappy, and thus making me unhappy.
11. Swallowing my Mucinex, running out of beverage, having it sit on my tongue and dissolve a little, gagging (it tastes awful), running to get more beverage, and finally rinsing it down, but not before the nasty taste has permeated my entire mouth. Then being stupid enough to repeat the entire scenario 4 hours later.
12. RE’s offices who don’t call you back with lab results and then, when you finally get them on the phone, realize that the lab did not do all the tests that were requested, because their office wrote down the procedure codes instead of the names of the tests.
13. Having to go back to the vampires to have more blood drawn to retest what the lab didn’t test in the first place, because my RE’s office wrote down the procedure codes instead of the names of the tests.
14. People who work at labs who are too fucking lazy to look up what their own procedure codes mean.
15. Realizing that my dry OPK now really, really looks like the two lines are the same color.
16. Not having someone here to ask if the OPK lines are the same color and realizing that asking your male teen-age neighbor is probably very tacky.
17. People who Google “female hormones for sissy husband” and get this blog. Actually, I don’t mind that they get this blog so much as what they are Googling. I mean if he is super-sissy, do you think he needs female hormones? (Then again, female hormones, or an excess of certain kinds, make me a huge bitch. Maybe that is what she was after?)