Let me preface this post with this: I really, really, really want to be pregnant.
Today I had to start making plans for my European trip in March and now I am very excited to travel. I went last year and had an amazing time, even though Mr. MC was not able to go with me. This year I will travel to Spain and France and the trip will be amazing (I should know as I did most of the planning myself).
If I am pregnant (2 more negative HPTs today) this cycle, the trip is not going to work because I will be too far along (ha!! she thinks: wishful thinking!) to travel internationally. I was pregnant the same time last year (miscarriage #1) and had a trip to Europe planned for the same time that my OB was not very happy about. A moot point because I found out I had a blighted ovum two weeks later, but I don’t think flying around the world in the third-trimester sans husband is ever really a good idea.
So, I would not go so far as to say that I do not want to get pregnant this cycle. If I am, I will be thrilled. If I am not, however, this probably means that I can go to Europe. Given my history, I feel awful for even letting a part of me be okay with not being pregnant, but the truth is, a part of me will be okay — perhaps even a little happy? — if I get pregnant in the next few months instead of this month.