Very Boring

You know what is boring?

Someone who is trying to get pregnant who is not actually actively trying to get pregnant.

The colitis is calming down, now that I am taking all my colitis medicine (supplementing with extra folic acid, of course) and not taking my baby aspirin.  I have had to cut out coffee and cut down in the dairy, but I think I caught this before it got out of control.  I hope, at least.

Mr. MC is doing better everyday, and had his stitches taken out Thursday.  He is weening off the pain medicine, and hopes to be back at work next week.  The RE’s nurse, when asked about Mr. MC’s pain-killer and anesthesia, was not concerned as long as they were not “radioactive.”  You mean radioactive substances are not good while trying to conceive?  Well, I’ll be damned.  You learn something every day.

I am also reminded that the two-week-wait is nothing when there is no chance you could be pregnant.  I am at 10dpo and I am just waiting for the PMS craziness to set it instead of obsessing over negative pregnancy tests.  The tww is just a serious mind-fuck.

The other good news is that if you are not pregnant, you can’t have another miscarriage.

September 29, 2007. Waiting Around is Not For Sissies. 5 comments.

Words to Live By

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”

— Sir Walter Scott

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we fail to conceive.”

— Missedconceptions

September 25, 2007. Attempts at Humor. 2 comments.

Fallout (or The Revenge of the Angry Colon)

Things are actually much better with Mr. MC and the animals, so now my colon has decided that it is really craving some attention. It is acting up; cue ulcerative colitis symptoms.

Usually after an stressful or emotional time, my gastro-intestinal system takes a week to get angry at me. The past few days I have noticed that things were, uh, not headed in a good direction (gas, bloating, etc…) but today it was undeniable that something not good is happening.

We are taking off this month anyway, so I popped my colitis medicine to see if I can get this thing under control as soon as possible. If my colitis is flaring, trying to conceive is out of the question, so here’s hoping it will calm back down in a few days. I also need to completely cut out the caffeine, both for fertility and for colon-happiness.

I also have to call my RE and see if Mr. MC’s regular use of painkillers could pose any sort of problem for next cycle. I assume everything will be okay, but I just want to hear that the RE is not concerned. Mr. MC really needs them, and if we need to wait longer, we certainly will.

I have waited over a year to get pregnant with a healthy baby — in the larger scheme of things what is a few more months?

September 23, 2007. Trying Again, Waiting Around is Not For Sissies. 3 comments.

Aaaaaaand We’re Back…

Mr. MC came home from the hospital on Wednesday afternoon. He is still in a lot of pain but happy to be home.

The cat and dog are doing much better, too.

I thought I ovulated the day after my positive OPK, but apparently my body did indeed register the stress. My temp went up a little making me think it was a done deal, but this morning it went back down. I took an OPK this evening because I am just very curious (still no sex this cycle) and it is not positive, but the second test line is very dark. It has to be the stress, right? Right? Right? RIGHT?? I just don’t want to be developing some sort of post-miscarriage #2 ovulation problem, and last month was already a little funky with the super-delayed temperature shift. I think I am going to up my dose of Vitex.

Can you tell I am a little anxious? I think it is a delayed reaction to everything from last week.

September 21, 2007. Other Sucky Things, Trying Again. 5 comments.

Brahms and His &%$*ing Lullaby

The hospital where my husband is an inpatient plays the opening measures of Brahm’s lullaby everytime a new baby is born. I assume this is to make people feel warm and fuzzy. If the rate of Brahm’s music is any indication, the town where I live is experiencing a population explosion.

What other people must think: “Awww… a new baby was just born” or “How sweet, another little person entered this world.”

What I hear: “Ha! Ha! Some drug addicted teen-age mother just gave birth to her third healthy child! Ha! Ha! You never got past 10 weeks! Ha! Ha! Both your embryos died in the first trimester.”

I hate Brahms.

September 17, 2007. Other Sucky Things. 11 comments.

Bad

I just spent $430 at the emergency vet because one of my cats was pooping blood. They did blood work, which will not come back until Tuesday, and X-rays, and they think she either has a nervous stomach or she just passed a big hairball.

I left the vet at 1:00 AM.

When I got home, I opened the door to the worst. smell. ever. My dog, probably due to anxiety, had diarrhea all over the dining room.

It is now 1:14AM and I have every candle I own and two sticks of incense burning. The front door is wide open. I can not go to bed with a house this stinky.

I now have to go give my cat her pill with a huge plunger so she doesn’t bite me, because she is really pissed.

My husband is still in the hospital.

And I have freakin’ ovulation pains so bad it hurts to stand up straight.

Update: The dog got me up every hour on the hour to go outside and poop. He had awful diarrhea all night. It finally settled down about 6AM, when he let me sleep for an hour and a half. At 7:30AM he woke me up by puking on the bed.

Second Update: Yeah, I am a little stressed out. Does my body register this? I guess not. I got the most positive OPK today that I have ever seen.

Third Update: Mr. MC still has a leak in his lung and may have sprung a new one. He is pretty miserable. He probably can’t come home until at least Thursday. Ugh.

September 17, 2007. Other Sucky Things. 7 comments.

The Next Time We Spend This Much Time in the Hospital, We Had Better Leave with a Freakin’ Baby

Mr. MC had to have surgery today to fix his lung because it continued to “leak.” The operation was a success, but his oxygen stats did not improve to the recovery room nurse’s liking, so he is being very closely monitored overnight in the recovery room (there are not extra beds in the ICU). In the morning, they will decide if he needs to go to the ICU or if he can go back to a floor room.

Sunday they will try to take the chest-tube out and X-ray the lung again to ensure that it stays inflated. Best case scenario: he comes home by late Sunday or early Monday. Then he will be at home for at least a week while everything heals and he weans off the pain medicine. He had a spontaneous pneumorthorax, which is a congenital defect.

It turns out I have a “frayed nerve” (I can’t remember the medical term right now) because two of my neck vertebrae are pressing together or I have a bone spur or something fun like that. I found this out on Thursday and Mr. MC was already in the hospital, so I was only half-listening to the diagnosis. It really hurts. I just took a left-over Tylenol with codeine from miscarriage #2 that will hopefully allow me to sleep. I am just dealing because we can only handle one medical problem at a time and it is not my turn yet.

Oh, and I am “highly fertile” right now according to my Ovusoft. I think jumping my husband in the hospital while he is doped up on morphine is in very, very poor taste.

September 15, 2007. Other Sucky Things. 8 comments.

How To Take Your Mind Off of Procreating

The trick to completely forget about miscarriage/pregnancy/infertility is to have your spouse develop a potentially life-threatening medical condition like, to pick a completely random example, a collapsed right lung.

Mr. MC went to our local urgent care thinking he had asthma, or at the very worst, pneumonia. He had a pneumothorax. They have reinflated it via a chest tube, but it continues to leak. If it has not completely healed by Friday, he will have surgery to manually repair it.

He has been an inpatient since about 3AM on Tuesday.

It is really awful to watch someone that you love suffer.

September 12, 2007. Other Sucky Things. 14 comments.

Sad

ArtSweet and Pili moved today. And they took Pepito with them.

I am very, very sad.

And my shoulder/neck still hurts. I am so excited to see the doctor tomorrow at 4:45.

But mostly I am sad that the town where we live is now lacking two fabulous women and one awesome Guadababy.

And this town could really use more fabulous and awesome people.

(sniffle)

September 10, 2007. Ramblings. 4 comments.

If You Can’t Say Something Nice…

It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, it is that I am in a lot of pain and that makes me want to take my pain medicine and do nothing all day.

I have pulled something in my left neck/shoulder and sitting and typing are quite possibly the worst things for it. Thank goodness I had a few pain killers left over from miscarriage #2. They are coming in very handy.

So instead of just bitching about that, I am just not writing anything more until I can write something aside from bitching about pain. Even I am tired of listening to myself complain.

September 9, 2007. Ramblings. 4 comments.

Celebrity Fertility Roundup

Halle Berry is 41 and 3 months pregnant.  J-Lo is rumored to also be pregnant.

Nichole Kidman had two miscarriages: one when she was 23 and another in 2001, when she was 34.

Paris Hilton“I want kids next year, so I’ve got to get my body ready.”

There are so many snarky things to say about Paris Hilton, I literally don’t know where to begin.  Perhaps after my glass(es) of wine tonight, I will write some of them down.

September 4, 2007. Celebrity Fertility Smut. 9 comments.

Another Reason It is Okay Not To Be Pregnant This Month

6. I can take all the Mucinex, antihistamines, and decongestants I want. Ragweed is blooming here and I am miserable. Last time this year I was pregnant and all I could do was use a saline nasal rinse several times a day. Now I can haul out the big guns and drug myself into non-sneezing oblivion.

September 4, 2007. Trying Again. 2 comments.

Nose Dive

My temperature — finally — took a nose dive this morning so even though my period has not yet started, it is certainly on its way. The ambiguity was driving me crazy; now at least I know what is going on.

I am disappointed, of course, but relieved to be out of menstrugatory/purstruation. I am having a nice, large caffeinated latte this afternoon followed by copious amounts of wine this evening.

I am also reading my Rick Steve’s guides to Paris and Spain (Madrid and Barcelona), just to tempt myself with a preview of all the fun to come.

For now, however, I am going to the mall to go shopping and stare enviously at all the teenage mothers (for their obviously fertility, not their situation) and women who, by my age, already have four healthy children.

September 2, 2007. Trying Again. 6 comments.

Another Day, Another Negative Pregnancy Test

My temperature went up this morning; I spotting again; I got another negative pregnancy test.

It’s official: my body likes to fuck with me.

Two surprises: I dislike ambiguity more than I dislike bad news; a bigger part of me wants to go to Europe than I previously thought.

(Oh, I should mention that not only is the trip to Europe free but I actually get paid to go. Granted, it is a “working vacation, but still. Paid to go to Europe, ladies.)

I am tired of (pre) menstrugatory / purgstruation (menstruation + purgatory).

September 1, 2007. Trying Again. 2 comments.