Mind F#CK

I was wearing nice pants and thong underwear (in order to avoid the dreaded VPL) today. I was on campus all day (it is 9:30PM and I just got home) and just realized that I am spotting. Thank goodness it just started, because it didn’t make a huge mess. However, it is still pretty alarming to spot red in the middle of your cycle a week before your period is due.

I plugged the “spotting” into my fertility software and here is what it told me:

Spotting at this time of your cycle may indicate (and let’s face it, MC, you are not all that lucky as far as fertility-related things go so you really should pretty much just ignore this) that you are pregnant. This is referred to as ‘implantation spotting’ and can occur when the fertilized egg burrows into the uterine wall (endometrium). You are in the post-ovulatory infertile phase of your cycle.”

Holy message. Holy uterine cramps. Holy mind fuck.

p.s. I am trying not to be upset that only two people want cool stuff from me. Come on people!! FREE STUFF!?!?

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October 25, 2007. Trying Again.

9 Comments

  1. niobe replied:

    No free stuff for me. (because then I’d have to give away another round of gifts). But the spotting sounds it could possibly be a very good sign.

    And I know there’s a snarky comment to be made about mind f*cks and pregnancy, but I’m so not going there.

  2. missedconceptions replied:

    I think that mind fucks should encouraged as part of abstinence-only education. Seriously.

  3. Liz replied:

    I haven’t got the mental hop-to-itiveness needed to send out something at the moment.

    I’ve got all my appendages crossed for you, however.

  4. Rachel replied:

    Wheee! Maybe the painkiller sex did it, because that is just funny enough to make a baby. I haven’t signed up for free stuff because I’m not sure what sort of free stuff I would then be required to distribute.

  5. DD replied:

    Ha! At least I’m one of the two COOL people!!

    Here’s an off-the-topic, but kind of on, why wear thongs at all if you’re looking to avoid TPL? Go commando.

  6. missedconceptions replied:

    Rachel,

    I am waiting for MY free-stuff from Niobe before I send anything out.

    I also have to wait for the five people (sniffle) because obviously people think her cool stuff will be better than my cool stuff. It only took a short time for Niobe to get 5 takers (sniffle; muffled sob).

    MC

  7. missedconceptions replied:

    DD,

    I am a WASP and therefore physically unable to go commando. What would my mother think? What if I got hit by a bus and had to go to the hospital and they gave me a gown and told me to take off everything but my underwear (assuming I was conscious, of course) except that I wasn’t wearing any?? Imagine the horror.

    LF

  8. babystep replied:

    Oh, the evil “implantation spotting” message. That is a total mind f*ck!

  9. Ms. Planner replied:

    Maybe, just maybe, your luck is turning…

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