I Humbly Thank Thee
I, and the 27 students who attended my class today, thank you for creating your tart, suck-your-cheeks-together-in-sour-agony candy. It tastes good, yes, but more importantly, it can instantly quell the urge to vomit. As a women who hates to vomit, especially in front of a live audience, your candy is a lifesaver (metaphorically speaking, of course — your candy is MUCH better than a piece of crappy Lifesaver candy). The 1 cm size is a little large and can make lecturing difficult, but than again so can puking in the trash can at the front of the auditorium. Also, my wee-beastie — the cause of all this gagging and retching — is a little over 1 cm so it is, at least this week, a humorous parallel.
Your candy is awesome. You are awesome for inventing this magical antiemetic. How did women survive pregnancy before 1962? I humbly thank thee.