Why, Hello Mr. Shit. Let Me Introduce You to Mr. Fan.

The shit hit the fan this past two weeks.

This Christmas easily qualified as the Worst. Christmas. Ever.  I will be sure to give you all the juicy details later, I promise.

On the wee-beastie front, I am still puking at 12.5 weeks.  As of Friday, I have also developed a new trick whereby vomiting is now a migraine trigger.  I spent last night in the ER getting pumped full of fluids, IV Zofran, potassium, and hydrocodone.  Yes, you can indeed take Vicodin when you are pregnant. 

I have my first OB appointment tomorrow, and if they don’t find a heartbeat via doppler, I am going to demand a stat ultrasound.  Wee-beastie is probably my sanest blood-relative at this point. 

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December 30, 2007. Pregnancy #3. 8 comments.

Snowplow Man Still Alive

They plowed our street today about noon, leaving me with plenty of time to get to the OB’s office for my ultrasound.

The enire time I was at her office, I kept reliving the blighted ovum of yore.  Same parking lot; same appointment time; same room; same sonogram machine, same sonographer.  (For miscarriage #2 I only had my sonograms at the hospital so I am sure that anxiety will come later.) 

This time, insead of an empty sac, we had an actual baby.  An actual baby with a heartbeat (176bpm), moving arms, and a squirmy body. 

Old wives’ say lots of puking and/or a high heart rate mean a girl.  It’s too early to tell (and what the hell do old wives know anyway, right?) but I have both of those.  We will name her, if it is a her, after my husband’s bubbe; if it is a boy, we will be kind enough not to name him after a Jewish grandmother.     

I am having my “first” (like this is the first time and M.D. will examine my bajingo) OB appointment on 31st of January, and the nuchal-fold test — that I specifically had to request?? — sometime later that week. 

Holy fuck — and I didn’t even need to kill the snowplow man. 

December 17, 2007. Miscarriage #1, Pregnancy #3. 14 comments.

Tripartate Division

Most of my days can be divided into three groupings:

1) Sleeping

2) Throwing Up

3) Trying Not to Throw Up

The last part can further be subdivided into three groupings:

a) Wondering if just throwing up will make me feel better

b) Complaining about all the throwing up

c) Attempting to get actual work done

Do you want to read about this?  I don’t think anyone does.

It snowed here and they have not plowed our street yet.  Come 3:30 (when I have an ultasound scheduled) they had better have plowed my fucking street or I am going to kill somebody if I can’t get to that appointment.

I am also scheduled to go out of town tomorrow and fly halfway across the country to give a talk on Wednesday that I haven’t written yet.  The fun never ends.

Instead of working on the presentation, I think I am going to lay down and rest from the puke-fest this morning.  This kid had better still be alive this afternoon.   

December 17, 2007. Tags: . Pregnancy #3, Way Too Much Information. 9 comments.

“Down Not Up”

I keep repeating this to my stomach, but it really doesn’t care to listen.

“Down not up.  Down not up.  Down not up.”

I just threw up my breakfast, my B6, and my Zofran.

I am now going to pretend I live in Canada and make my very own Diclectin (Unisom + B6).  Yet another reason to hate the American F.D.A.

I would pretty, pretty, pretty please like to go to sleep and wake up in the second trimester with a healthy fetus and a settled stomach.

I am 9w6d today.  I only have 13 Zofran tablets left, and a refill costs $311.00, which is a lot of money to drop during the holidays.  I am hoping that this will go away in the next few weeks?

Please, please, please tell me when your nausea/vomiting ended or at least became tolerable?

December 12, 2007. Pregnancy #3. 7 comments.

Irrational Fears (Reprise) (UPDATED)

Even though I have a DVD of an ultrasound from yesterday showing a “perfect” (per Dr. SBS) 9w4d embryo, I am still worrying.

In order to get these things off of my mind, and in no particular order:

1) Wee-beastie was not moving, as far as I can tell. Others who have posted about their ultrasounds have noted their fetbryos moving all around and waving their little limb buds. WB has limb buds, but was not doing a jig, a polka, or any other fancy dancing.

2) Wee-beastie was measuring ahead of the game by two days up until this week. Now, things correspond perfectly with my LMP but perhaps WB is not growing as well and we lost two days from last week to this week?

3) Watching my doctor measure CRL makes me think he cheated a little so it would be 6w4d. I would let you watch the video, but it does look like he “adds” a little just so the dates match up. Or I am a paranoid lunatic.

I think I am going to ask my OB for another sonogram next Monday. I have to travel out of town next week for business, and this will drive me bat-shit crazy(-ier) if I have to wait until after Christmas for a wanding.

Yes, I still have horrible nausea and no, I didn’t sleep well last night. I think both of those things are contributing to the paranoid lunatic/bat-shit crazy state.

Update: I called my OB’s office and asked to be wanded. The receptionist, Ron (a male receptionist), knows me well due to the previous miscarriages. “Are you having any spotting or bleeding?” he asked. “No … , I am just very anxious about this pregnancy,” I explained. “Well,” he said, “that sounds to me like a perfectly good reason for an ultrasound. We will get you in next Monday, and then afterwards we can schedule your first official prenatal exam.” I love him.

December 11, 2007. Pregnancy #3. 10 comments.

Crack-Cocaine for Pregnant Women

wb2.jpgwb3.jpg

Dr. SBS saw me for my appointment today instead of a PA or nurse-practitioner. Usually, when the doctor comes in, it is not good news. Instead, this was just my “graduation” appointment; I have been returned to the care of my regular OB. He is advising that I be “scanned” throughout the pregnancy (thank you!!) and that I continue the Lovenox/baby aspirin until week 36.

Heart-rate is still good at 176bpm and is measuring right on track at 9w4d. We got lots of images of wee-beastie and then — here is where he became my crack-cocaine dealer — video of the entire ultrasound complete with 3D images that I can watch on my home computer and audio of the heartbeat.

Wee-beastie had its hands up in front of its face, trying, I can only assume, not to vomit from the hormones just like me.

December 10, 2007. Pregnancy #3. 9 comments.

Powers of Deductive Reasoning

My “morning” sickness is much, much worse in the evening.  MUCH worse.

I take my thyroid medicine in the morning and I have to wait 4-6 hours to take my prenatal vitamin because the iron can impact how the thyroid medicine is metabolized.

I did not take my prenatal at the usual time last night and felt, relatively speaking, of course, okay.  Still gaggy but not actively dry heaving.

Then it dawned on me: I think my prenatal vitamin is exacerbating my nausea?

So, I did a fancy experiment.  I took half my vitamin last night and waited.  Behold, an hour later I was back in bed, dry heaving and curled up moaning in the fetal position.

I take supplemental folic acid every morning, so I am thinking that perhaps I should switch to children’s chewable vitamins?

Has anyone else experiences this?  What did you do?

December 7, 2007. Pregnancy #3. 13 comments.

I Heart Zofran

I have stayed in bed most of today and most of this week, except when I have to drag myself to campus to teach class, because I am so. very. nauseated. I have the dry heaves most of the day and while not actually vomiting, I feel like if I let my guard down, it will be all over. I hate to throw-up, so this is an exercise in sheer force of will. This is all, of course, while on the Zofran. Without the Zofran, there would be no contest.

I still have free stuff to send to people (I did not forget!!), a meme I was tagged for, and a shitload of work to do before the end of the semester. For now, my goal is just to make it through the day and not throw up.

The good news is that I am 9+ weeks pregnant, wee-beastie, as far as I know, is still alive, and this queasiness is so all-consuming that I do not have the energy to obsessively worry over the fate of this pregnancy.

December 6, 2007. Meme-y Goodness, Pregnancy #3. 1 comment.

Updates

In order of importance:

1) Wee-beastie is still alive and growing right on schedule — 8w6d today (2 days head of LMP calculations). The heart-rate is high — 182 bpm — but the physician’s assistant said that this is fine (she even used the word “perfect” again).

2) The Colace/fiber/increased fluid intake regimen worked. Finally.

3) My mother has decided not to leave my father. For now, at least. She still does not know I am pregnant, and I intend to keep it that way as long as possible.

December 3, 2007. Other Sucky Things, Pregnancy #3, Way Too Much Information. 7 comments.

Constipation Consternation

WARNING: This is a TMI post. You will not be able to un-read it, so if TMI-y things tend to bother you, do not keep reading.

I knew about the sore breasts, the fatigue, and the nausea. I did not know about the constipation. It is in all my books as a “symptom” but I thought with my history of ulcerative colitis that I would cancel out the constipation and end up somewhere around normal. I was wrong.

It turns out that the progesterone capsules I shove up my bajingo twice a day can cause constipation. Even more dramatically, Zofran — the drug that allows me to only dry-heave my way through the work day instead of barfing myself silly at home — also causes constipation. The two of them teamed up and it is not pretty.

The only other time I have had this happen was post-miscarriages when I was pleasantly doped up on pain medicine every four hours. I took Colace (a stool-softener) then, too, and while I was uncomfortable, I was not physically miserable. This time, I fear I started the Colace too late.

I blew out my boh-poh.* I can barely walk and can only lay down in certain positions. I am bleeding and I am seriously considering putting an ice-pack on my ass. Why was I not warned that this could happen? With colitis, I thought not going to the bathroom for a day (or two?) was good news; this was not good news. This is horrible. Awful. Painful.

I am now taking fiber, Colace, and drinking lots and lots of fluids. Prune juice will make me ralph, but milk-of-magnesia is looking better and better. Hopefully, something will work and my boh-poh can heal.

My third ultrasound is tomorrow morning. Did you know that when you are very nervous you tend to clench your boh-poh? Why, neither did I until today. I have been practicing “conscious muscle relaxation” that I learned years ago in yoga. I am sure this is exactly the situation my teacher intended it for.

*My four-year-old friend Maya taught me this word. Some of you may know the same anatomy by the terms “butt-hole” or “anus” but I prefer “boh-poh” — it has a nice ring, eh?

December 2, 2007. Miscarriage #1, Miscarriage #2, Pregnancy #3, Way Too Much Information. 3 comments.