That feeling — the feeling that something is horribly wrong — is back.
I am having horrible, horrible nightmares about sick babies, babies that aren’t growing right, or babies that die. It is awful and terrifying.
Mr. MC talked to my midwife: my weight gain, or lack of weight gain, is not normal. The last ultrasound, over a month ago, showed that the baby is growing fine, but I am outside of normal parameters, which to my mind is never good news.
So for now I just sit here and cry and panic and hope that there is just something wrong with me and not wee-beastie. PLEASE don’t let there be something wrong with wee-beastie. Please. Please. Please.
I can feel wee-beastie kicking and I am listening to his/her little heart just beat just like it should, but instead of being a comfort it is just making me more afraid.
I hope they can move the ultrasound up from Monday. I can not wait that long without completely falling apart.
UPDATE: They moved my ultrasound up to 10AM tomorrow morning. At least that is something.