Stupid Selfish Bastard

Thursday night, after my father met with his lawyer regarding the finalities of the divorce and realized that my mother (they live in a “no fault” state) would indeed get 50% of their estate, went back to his hotel room, took all the prescription medicine he had (8 bottles worth) and then sent my mother some of the most vitriolic, nastiest e-mails ever written. He wanted to make sure that a) she never got his life insurance policies (negated in cases of suicide, he thought); b) how much he hated her; c) how she ruined his life by daring to divorce him; d) all the material stuff he wanted my brother and I to get — he wanted her to get nothing except “blamed for this, so she can spend the rest of her life feeling guilty.”

This was 4 weeks to the day before his first grandchild was due. He left no notes, no sentiments, nothing for my brother and I.

My mom, because she is a decent human being, called the paramedics when she read the e-mails instead of just letting him die in his hotel room. The fucker is still alive, but barely, in critical condition in an ICU 3 states away from me. I would not visit him, even if I were allowed to travel. If he dies, we have decided there will be no funeral or memorial. If he lives, my son will never be allowed near him.


Due to stress and emotions, I spent all of Thursday night trying to sleep and failing miserably. I had Braxton-Hicks contractions all night, and woke up in the morning with menstrual-like cramps. I already had an OB appointment, so they did an internal exam (no dilation yet) and then admitted me to L&D for monitoring. The contractions were probably due to dehydration as they slowed down once they gave me two IV bags of fluid. We got to listen to his little heartbeat on the monitor, which was very cool. He did not like either the contraction or the heart rate monitor straps and continually tried to kick them off, which made his heart rate go up, exactly as they wanted it to. I stayed for a few hours, took a nap, and then headed home.


My mom actually went to the hospital yesterday to get updates on my father. He is on a ventilator, his pupils are still pinned (due to the copious amounts of narcotics that he took), his pressure is low but stable, but we do not know if he will live out the week or if he has done any irreparable long-term organ damage.


He-beastie, however, is doing his usual mid-morning gymnastics. I can actually see knees, feet, and hips when he turns himself around or kicks hard enough. Sure, it kind of looks like there is an alien trapped in there, but I love it.

June 14, 2008. Other Sucky Things, Pregnancy #3.


  1. babystep replied:

    OMG. What a trauma you are going through. I am so sorry.

  2. Heather replied:

    So sorry you are having to deal with such a terrible situation.

  3. niobe replied:

    What a nightmarish situation. I’m shocked and horrified and very, very sorry.

  4. tina replied:

    I’m so sorry. You will be in my thoughts.

  5. Katie replied:

    Oh my. What an awful situation for you. I’m not surprised you’re so angry.

  6. rachel replied:

    I am so sorry. Mental illness sucks! I wish you didn’t have to deal with this right now.

  7. artsweet replied:

    Oh holy crap.

    We love you guys and are rooting for you and your mom.

    What a horribly twisted thing to do – and at such a time. I am sure that he-beastie will grow up to be a master twister of balloons and a true mensch, like his da.

  8. Meg replied:

    Thinking about you!

  9. Dugi. replied:

    I’m sorry that your family is going through this hard time. I hope your dad gets better and will soon hold his grand son in his arms.

  10. Sam replied:

    If it makes you feel any better,I used to do financial planning and every life insurance policy that I have seen only excludes suicide if the policy is LESS than one year old. Hopefully if he passes your mother will be able to benefit from one or more of them.

    I’m sorry that this is happening to you.

  11. Farah replied:

    oh my word. you are in my thoughts

  12. MommaMary replied:

    That is terrible. Awful terrible. I’ll keep you all in my prayers. šŸ˜¦ ((hugs))

  13. K @ ourboxofrain replied:

    I am so incredibly sorry. That is an unbelievably awful thing to do, especially four weeks before one’s daughter is expecting one’s first grandchild. Ugh. Many prayers headed your way.

  14. Pili replied:

    What a bastard! I’m so sorry. My thoughts are with you and Mr. Bojingo and your mother. As I said to Art-Sweet, sometimes people’s meanness is just so over the top crazy that you can actually step back a bit more easily and know that *none* of it is your fault. This is so clearly *his* stuff. None that it makes the loss of having a father worthy of the name any easier. Hang in there!

  15. Kona replied:

    I’m sorry for the stress and drama your family is going through.I’m glad you & He-Beastie are okay. šŸ˜‰
    ((Missed Conceptions ))

  16. Rachel replied:

    Argh. Sorry you are going through this.

  17. Ms Planner replied:

    Oh. So. Not. Fair.

    Not to you. Your brother. And especially not your mother. Sending lots of kind thoughts your way. Hopefully the drama subsists soon. In the meantime, I hope you can rely on each other to get through it.

    Good to hear that He-Beastie is doing well, too.

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