Status Updates I Will Never Dare Post on Facebook

“MC is wondering why her right boob makes so much more milk than her left boob.”

“MC is currently covered in baby shit.”

“MC is currently covered in baby pee.”

“MC is currently covered in baby spit-up.”

“MC is wondering why she is just now starting to pee when she sneezes?”

“MC thinks it might be easier somedays to just strap her kid directly to her boob.”

“MC wants to know how people who have multiples make it work.”

“MC wants to know how people who have more than one child make it work.”

“MC wonders if her sex drive will ever return.”

“MC would just like to get some fucking sleep already.”

“MC just spent x hours on-line researching organic baby mattresses.”

“MC just spent x hours on-line searching for cute baby clothes.”

“MC has gone x days without taking a shower.”

“MC is dreading the day when her menstrual cycle starts up again.  She has not had ‘Aunt Flo’ in a year, and frankly, she does not miss the bitch.”

“MC doesn’t understand how a pharmacy can not order her size of diaphram?”

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September 17, 2008. Attempts at Humor, Life With Baby, Way Too Much Information.

4 Comments

  1. Meg replied:

    wow, i love this!!

  2. Farah replied:

    HERE HERE !

  3. Sam replied:

    I left an update on Facebook and took a shower. While I was gone my 11 year old updated with this:
    Sam is shiting her brains out! And the Palomar thingy!!!

    See what you have to look forward to?!

  4. Ms Planner replied:

    We are always covered in spit us at chez Ms. Planner. It just goes with the territory. Not to get too personal, but still trying to understand the no sex drive and correct sized diaphram stats? Hmmm. Does the second really matter if the one considers the first? Or perhaps you are just being a good wifey and giving it up for the home team? Tee hee. Good luck with all that 🙂

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