The yeast is gone.
I don’t have mastitis.
My supply and Baby S’s demand are more or less in sync.
So, of course, something had to go wrong.
He has started biting. Me.
In. The. Nipple.
When he was getting his first two teeth in, he did this at the end of our feedings when he was trying to soothe his gums.
A few days ago, he started doing it again and yesterday and today, he has started chomping down right at the beginning of our feedings. I can not find any new teeth that appear to be breaking through.
I sternly say “NO” and end the feeding, as is suggested in my breastfeeding book. He always looks surprised and then confused as to why I flinch in pain. We wait a while and try again, with the same problem. I have just started pumping and giving him the milk via bottle.
Please tell me this is a just a phase? And it will end soon? (It’s okay to lie to me. Go ahead. I will not care, I promise.)
It is a good thing he is so freakin’ cute.
The fucking wee yeasties are back.
For like the 5th or 6th time.
If you have never had yeast, it burns like someone is pouring battery acid on your nipple after you nurse. For me, it is more painful than mastitis.
So, I am back on the Diflucan. Double the regular dose for two weeks with two more months of refills. Baby S is on Nystatin for two weeks to make sure he stays clean. I have to go wash all my bras in hot water and vinegar and continue to boil everything that touches my nipples, i.e. all of my pumping stuff.
Baby S’s doctor and I decided that I will pump ‘n’ dump for a few days and give him formula. Since we have passed this infection back and forth while I was exclusively pumping, she is assuming that there is yeast in the breastmilk itself.
None of this sounds so bad, right? I mean, it doesn’t sound like fun, but the worst part is the actual feeding part. It nearly makes me cry to give him formula and dump breastmilk down the drain. I know it does not make rational sense but it just feels so very wrong. My breasts ache to nurse him and I realize now how emotionally invested I am in the nursing relationship.
Yet, on the other hand, it is strangely freeing. Knowing that he can eat whenever he wants, have as much as he wants, and be fed by anyone is oddly liberating. My goal is to make it to at least a year: 4.5 more months to go.