End to the Means

When  you are trying to get pregnant, or trying to stay pregnant, it is all consuming.  You live you life in two week increments: waiting to ovulate; waiting to take a pregnancy test; waiting for the next ultrasound, etc….

Here I am with Baby S, my wonderful, glorious son, and I feel like I should be doing something else.  I feel — dare I say it? — like I should be trying to get pregnant.

The problem is, I do not think I am ready to be pregnant again.  I am still breastfeeding and I would like to have some time to have my body to myself before I have to share it again.  I would like to lose weight.  I would like to work on my research.  I would like to not have to divide my attention between Baby S and another child.

Yet, there is this nagging feeling that I should be doing more.  Is it my biological clock ticking?  Or it is just that for years, a healthy pregnancy was all that I wanted?  I am not sure.  I do want another one, I really, really, really do, but I can’t pinpoint why I keep thinking about it so much right now.  Baby S is only nine months old.  Still, it might be easier to just stay in the trenches?  To just do it now instead of waiting?

Or perhaps I have just become obsessed with the means and not the end.


March 16, 2009. Another One?, Life With Baby, Post-Pregnancy Fun.


  1. Farah replied:

    I have had this exact blog post in the back of my mind for a few months now. I am wondering the exact same thing. In fact, Hubs and I have talked about this topic on so many levels. I feel ya

  2. Artblog replied:

    I did exactly the same once Baby D was born, now look at me 😉 xxx

  3. Jensational replied:

    It is something to think about. I think it happens now when the babies are finally getting easier to take care of and not so screamy all the time.

  4. Melissa replied:

    I am in your exact shoes. After having endured multiple losses and unexplained infertility, I now have a beautiful 3-month-old daughter. However, I can’t stop thinking about TTC. After having spent so much time trying to get pregnant, living my life in two-week increments, etc… it just feels odd to be “sitting idle” now. Even though I definitely want another baby someday (and hopefully soon), I also wonder if I have simply become obsessed with the means and not the end.

  5. artsweet replied:

    I say wait until he starts walking.

    There is this honeymoon between needy infant and terrifying toddler that makes you think two wouldn’t be hard. If you still think you want another one NOW once you’re into terrifying toddler, then go for it.

  6. Mr. MC replied:

    I’ve been thinking about this. I’d guess (what do I know?) that it is a combination of biological drives and that fact that we spent soooooooo long trying to have a baby that some small part of your mind hasn’t registered the success.

    I don’t think that is “obsession” at all. Especially considering the crushing disappointments and months of anxiety and worry after 2 miscarriages.

    If we have another baby, it seems to me that the advice from medical professionals is to do so around the time Baby S. *is* (as artsweet puts it) a terrifying toddler. Not only is this what your CNW thinks is best for your body as a mother (and your GI thinks would be good for you in other ways), but the reading we’ve done seems to indicate that this approximate distance in age between potential siblings is pretty workable for childcare options, ensuring sibs can be playmates, and keeping parental sanity.

    Of course, Baby S. *is* so much fun right now. He’s not a delight every minute of every day, but he’s *not* the incredibly needy baby he was (say under 6 months) nor is he yet a super-mobile handful.

    Right now, the idea of having another baby scares the crap out of me because getting to this point kicked our asses…but of course we need to keep thinking about it and make a decision around the time the CNW says would be best for your health.

    My top priorities in life: Baby S.’s health and MC’s health.

    Thanks for letting me babble on in the comments of your blog, MC. I love you. 🙂

    -Mr. MC (Fortunate to be married to MC and the father of the beautiful, delightful Baby S.)

  7. Sam replied:

    Awwwwwwww. That was so cute. I don’t even remember what my comment was after reading Mr. MC’s.

  8. yael@machonpuah replied:

    I think we all start feeling that way after approximately that much time.

    With more time, we learn to relax and enjoy our babies/toddlers before we jump into working on #2. And if it takes a little longer or we end up starting on it a little later, we see that it’s for the best because it would be really difficult to have 2 under 2.

    My little boy is 2 and now I’m really ready to have another one. I wasn’t quite as ready when we first tried when he was 14 months.

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