A Fool and Her Peestick are (Too) Soon Posted

I have an acquaintance, actually a friend of an ex-friend, who I am “friends” with on Facebook.

She posted an update a few weeks ago that she was “officially ‘in the family way.'” I was genuinely excited for her and wrote her a little congratulatory note.  I was impressed she got pregnant the very first month because they had only begun trying in February.

Well, she had gotten pregnant quickly, but not as quickly as I had assumed.  I assumed that she announced it on Facebook when she was into the second trimester.


Today her status update read: ”  ________  is really excited to find out if the lima bean has a heartbeat yet…

She posted on FB that she was pregnant the same day she got a positive pregnancy test.  She had not even seen the heartbeat.   She was not even a few weeks along, let alone into the second trimester.

I hope that everything is okay, I really do, but … well, if you are reading this, you know why I hesitate.  Even I was not that naive before my first miscarriage.

Her friends are already planning her baby shower and all the cute gifts they are going to get her, yada, yada, yada.  I think she is a fool, but maybe that is just my bitter cynicism.

April 14, 2009. Fertile Myrtles, Stupid Is As Stupid Does.


  1. Farah replied:

    So you aren’t helping plan the shower yet? Is that what you are saying 😉

  2. Artblog replied:

    Its rare for me to meet people IRL who proclaim their pregnancy from the day they pee on a stick but if it ever happened, I’d tell them to wait a bit till they shout it from the rooftops.

    Even before I had my first miscarriage it was a secret until you past the first trimester, tradition where I come from and now I see why!

    I just feel sorry for the girl that she is so naive, i really hope she doesn’t find out the hard way.

  3. It's just me, Dawn. replied:

    It’s embarrassing to admit, but we did that the first time around. We learned our lesson the hard way.

  4. Judith replied:

    The ‘lima bean’ euphemism makes me giggle. A lima bean is probably larger than the cluster of ‘officially family’ cells, right?

  5. Belinda replied:

    Ah yes to be that innocent again – I blurted out about my first and second pregnancies way way too early only to crash and burn. I only really learnt my lesson the third time and kept schtum until the 12 week scan but in a way i found it easier to cope with my miscarriages having come out about the pregnancies earlier than I would have in retrospect – horses for courses and all that…

    I now have a 11 week old son after nearly 4 years of trying and loss but do you know I wouldn’t have it any other way… without going through all of this I would not now have him if you know what I mean and goodness he is special to me – may be more so than to someone who never had to work at it?

  6. Rachel replied:

    I really think there are so many women who don’t have a clue how many miscarriages really happen – I guess they left that out of what limited sex ed/repro health we did get in school. Did generations before us even talk about such things? I know that as a kid I assumed that it wasn’t possible to know you were pregnant until 3 months, because that’s when everybody announced.

  7. Heather replied:

    I waited to announce my first pregnancy for exactly that reason. Miscarriages, especially for a first pregnancy are really common, even in women who don’t have trouble getting or staying pregnant.

    The problem is that these days, pregnancy tests can read so early on. Way back when, (30years ago when my mom was pg with me), women didn’t know they were pregnant until they were further on….and most miscarriages went undetected because the women never knew they were pregnant in the first place.

    I lost my first pregnancy at about 9 weeks, but was fortunate to have 3 full-term pregnancies after that. I consider myself very blessed to have only lost one. I could not imagine dealing with that loss over and over again.

    For your friend of an ex-friends sake, I hope she doesn’t have to learn that terrible lesson…..

  8. Bitch, Please « Missed Conceptions replied:

    […] Remember my “friend” from Facebook who announced her pregnancy on FB before her first […]

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