The Circle of Life

I held Baby S for the first time one year ago.  I had a quick labor, about 5.5 hours from water-breaking to the three-push delivery. I lack the words to describe how much I love him.  I am more proud of him than anything else I have done.

And yet, as I predicted, his birthday and that joy will always be tainted for me.

Yesterday was Father’s Day and I have no father.  On 27 June 2008, my father committed suicide, five days after my son, his first grandchild, was born.

Sometimes Baby S looks like my dad when he smiles.

June 22, 2009. Other Sucky Things, The Magnificent Baby S.


  1. Sam replied:

    I’m so sorry. Yesterday was bad for me, and my dad is just plain ole dead.

    I am so glad you have Baby S to adore. Babies are wonderful. Now 12 year olds? That is a whole different ball game. 🙂

  2. Farah replied:

    I am sorry about the timeline of events and hope that one day the sting lessens to nil.

  3. Artblog replied:

    So sorry about your dad, that must be hard 😦

    Happy birthday to Baby S.


  4. artsweet replied:

    I was just blogruminating about nature vs. nurture…

    Your dad’s selfishness can only be explained, not excused, by mental illness. I’m sorry that he had to taint something so wonderful as Baby S’s smile.

  5. Caro replied:


  6. liz replied:

    Thinking of you.

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