Today was the final ultrasound at the RE’s office.  Wee-beastie is still alive, still growing, and still moving around.  We go the requisite “blob” pictures as proof, beyond my nausea and fatigue, that I am pregnant.

The nausea and vomiting are admittedly not as bad as last time.  I have Phenergan suppositories that work even when I throw up the Zofran.  They totally knock me out, though, so I have to make sure to have someone able to watch S if I use one during the day.  I am just counting the weeks until the end of the first trimester when hopefully I will ge some relief.

I am doing a little better on now that I have been on Wellbutrin for over a week.  We have hired two babysitters to take shifts during the day so I can sleep.  It was difficult to admit that in this state I can’t take care of S by myself.  I am woefully behind at work, too, so S is going to start going to daycare for 2 hours a day 2 days a week.  It’s not much, admittedly, but it will give me some uninterrupted work time.  My therapist thinks my expectations of myself as a mother are too high and are physically and emotionally buring me out.  She’s probably right.  I feel better being able to be sick and miserable without having to worry about S and, quite frankly, he is getting more attention/interaction from his non-pregnant, non-ralphing babysitters right now.

If we get a healthy baby out of this pregnancy, I am done.  I just can not physically/emotionally do this again.  Once, in my younger, pre-miscarriage days, I thought I might like 3 or 4 children.  Ha!  I am in awe of the women who can do it, but I am too miserable as a pregnant woman to do it yet again, regarldess of the long-term rewards.  Two is enough.

December 22, 2009. Another One?, Post-Pregnancy Fun, Pregnancy #4. 5 comments.

It’s Alive — Alive!

8w1d and not only does it have a heartbeat but it moves!  And has limb buds!  Most importantly, it is alive and, presumably, healthy.

I have one more appointment with my RE and then I am transferred back to my regular OB/GYN.

The incubatee is fine; the incubator is still kind of a mess.  After nearly falling apart emotionally, I am now on another antidepressant, Wellbutrin, in addition to the Prozac I am currently taking.  It will take a few weeks to start working, but at least I am doing something instead of wallowing in my own misery.  I am not sure what triggered this particular trough, but here I am.

I am still taking  daily progesterone, HCG shots every 3 days, and Lovenox/baby aspirin every day.  It’s quite a routine.  I can stop the HCG at 10 weeks and the progesterone at 12, so only a few more weeks to go.

December 15, 2009. Other Sucky Things, Pregnancy #4. 5 comments.


I went into the RE today because I am falling apart.  I vomited last night, after 3 days of debilitating nausea.  I am so tired I can barely function.  My OB’s office called in some Phenergan suppositories (fun!) so I could sleep without fear of puking.  The fatigue, in particular, is much, much worse this time.  I also am now very proactive about taking the anti-emetics and those, as luck would have it, also cause drowsiness.

The progesterone is also triggering a major depressive episode.

There is nothing to do but wait.  I am within the parameters for “normal” but just experiencing “higher than average” fatigue and nausea.

So there you have it.  Nothing to do but wait.

The good news is that there is a perfectly-sized embryo in there with a  little heart just thumping away.

December 7, 2009. Other Sucky Things, Pregnancy #4. 7 comments.


We saw a heartbeat today, but the wee-beastie was too small to really record anything.  Measurements were right on track, with the yolk-sac dwarfing the actual embryo.

Still nauseated.  Still extremely tired.

At the dentist (!!) this morning, she noted that my thyroid was very enlarged, so the RE’s office ran more thyroid tests.

Next ultrasound next week.


December 1, 2009. Pregnancy #4. 13 comments.