9w1d

Today was the final ultrasound at the RE’s office.  Wee-beastie is still alive, still growing, and still moving around.  We go the requisite “blob” pictures as proof, beyond my nausea and fatigue, that I am pregnant.

The nausea and vomiting are admittedly not as bad as last time.  I have Phenergan suppositories that work even when I throw up the Zofran.  They totally knock me out, though, so I have to make sure to have someone able to watch S if I use one during the day.  I am just counting the weeks until the end of the first trimester when hopefully I will ge some relief.

I am doing a little better on now that I have been on Wellbutrin for over a week.  We have hired two babysitters to take shifts during the day so I can sleep.  It was difficult to admit that in this state I can’t take care of S by myself.  I am woefully behind at work, too, so S is going to start going to daycare for 2 hours a day 2 days a week.  It’s not much, admittedly, but it will give me some uninterrupted work time.  My therapist thinks my expectations of myself as a mother are too high and are physically and emotionally buring me out.  She’s probably right.  I feel better being able to be sick and miserable without having to worry about S and, quite frankly, he is getting more attention/interaction from his non-pregnant, non-ralphing babysitters right now.

If we get a healthy baby out of this pregnancy, I am done.  I just can not physically/emotionally do this again.  Once, in my younger, pre-miscarriage days, I thought I might like 3 or 4 children.  Ha!  I am in awe of the women who can do it, but I am too miserable as a pregnant woman to do it yet again, regarldess of the long-term rewards.  Two is enough.

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December 22, 2009. Another One?, Post-Pregnancy Fun, Pregnancy #4.

5 Comments

  1. Mr. MC replied:

    Amen!

  2. Jensational replied:

    I’m glad it’s going well! Fingers and toes are crossed for you.

  3. Sam replied:

    You are doing a great job. I am proud of you for being able to accept help when you need it!

  4. Wendy replied:

    You know, when I was 24 and pregnant with Gillian, I worked full time but could come home and sleep. Then when I was 35 and pregnant with Katie, I worked full time for 13 weeks and then just threw in the towel. And came home and slept for 6 months. Granted, Gillian was 10 and in school most of the day, but I just had to acknowledge that I couldn’t do it all. In fact, I marvel at how well I did it when Gillian was a baby and I was for all intents and purposes, a single mother. I guess I had age on my side. Do what you need to do. S will be fine in day care or with a babysitter. He needs a mother who can care for him and if you don’t care for yourself, you can’t care for him. There! LOL!
    Wendy

  5. Rachel replied:

    I’m glad you’re doing a little better and getting a little more help.

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