Grateful, Sort Of

Given that 50% of my pregnancies ended before the first trimester, I know I should be more grateful to be at 28 weeks.

I am, of course.  Thrilled, actually, and very excited.

But being pregnant, at least for me, sucks.  I still regularly puke.  I am still nauseated most days.  I get at least one migraine a week.  I am starting to count down the weeks (12) I have left.  What scares me is that I am not even that big and I know as the belly gets bigger, things get more uncomfortable.

Walking around pregnant while holding S’s hand in a restaurant led one woman to actually remark that I was “very fertile.”  Obviously, explaining to her about the uterus of death, the two miscarriages, and the daily shots I take to sustain this one, was out of the question.  I just weakly smiled.   Sure, whatever.  Fertile myrtle I ain’t.

I am grateful to be pregnant.  I am grateful that all indications are that this is a healthy baby girl.  I am grateful that I can still get out of bed and go to work, even if I have to pump myself full of anti-puke medicine.

Still, I will be glad to deliver this baby and be done with the whole pregnancy thing.

May 3, 2010. Fertile Myrtles, Pregnancy #4.


  1. calliope replied:

    ugh! So so sorry that you are still feeling so ill. But very glad to hear that all is well in there.

  2. liz replied:

    Sending you love, good wishes for the rest of your pregnancy, and for freedom from well-meaning ignorant people.

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