Life’s Not Fair
It’s not fair that I had two miscarriages.
It’s not fair I had hyperemesis while pregnant with S.
It’s not fair that I have ulcerative colitis.
It’s not fair my dad killed himself 5 days after S was born, and that is mostly what I remember about S being a newborn.
None of it is fair.
So here I am in pregnancy #2. Migraines. Hyperemesis. So not fair.
My colitis is now also flaring.
I finally had to admit today that this was getting really bad really fast. (You’re welcome for not sharing the details.) I was worried about nutrients anyway due to all the nausea/vomiting, but now that it is coming out the other end, too, I am trying not to freak out. I am forcing down the prenatal vitamins (because I puke anyway, right?) and drinking Ensure, just hoping that something absorbs.
I had to start on Asacol and Prednisone (4-week taper) per my GI doctor, in addition to the probiotics and fiber I was already taking. All of this is class “A” (i.e. fiber and probiotics) or “B” (Prednisone, I guess, is technically a “C” but my OB and GI told me they both think of it as a “B”), but I am so sick of swallowing handfuls of pills while pregnant.
I am 29.5 weeks so about 10ish weeks to go.
As long a she-beastie is okay, though, I can suck it up; I just need for her to be okay.