“… And There’s Something Hanging Out of My Butt.”
Did you ever see the movie For Keeps with Molly Ringwald and Randall Batinkoff? It is from 1988 and is not a cinematic gem, but I distinctly remember one scene where Molly Ringwald’s character, Darcy, is complaining about being a pregnant teenager and at the very end of her monologue she says ” … AND there’s something hanging out of my butt.” “Out of your butt?” asks her baby-daddy, Stan (Batinkoff). “Sometimes pregnant women get, you know… , hemorrhoids.”
Mind you, I can remember almost nothing else from 1988, but this scene stuck with me.
And now I know why. Because there is indeed something hanging out of my butt and, thanks to For Keeps, I know what it is — hemorrhoids.
You would think with all of my pooping issues that I might have had them before, but if I did, they were very mild. Since starting on the steroids the hideous diarrhea has abated only to be replaced by hideous constipation and I have discovered that neither extreme is pleasant.
I went to Target and bought enough witchhazel pads and Preparation H to soothe my sore tushie for several months. Supposedly, most hemorrhoids go away on their own eventually but often get worse in the postpartum period due to pushing during delivery.