“… And There’s Something Hanging Out of My Butt.”

Did you ever see the movie For Keeps with Molly Ringwald and Randall Batinkoff?  It is from 1988 and is not a cinematic gem, but I distinctly remember one scene where Molly Ringwald’s character, Darcy, is complaining about being a pregnant teenager and at the very end of her monologue she says ” … AND there’s something hanging out of my butt.”  “Out of your butt?” asks her baby-daddy, Stan (Batinkoff).  “Sometimes pregnant women get, you know… , hemorrhoids.”

Mind you, I can remember almost nothing else from 1988, but this scene stuck with me.

And now I know why.  Because there is indeed something hanging out of my butt and, thanks to For Keeps, I know what it is — hemorrhoids.

You would think with all of my pooping issues that I might have had them before, but if I did, they were very mild.  Since starting on the steroids the hideous diarrhea has abated only to be replaced by hideous constipation and I have discovered that neither extreme is pleasant.

I went to Target and bought enough witchhazel pads and Preparation H to soothe my sore tushie for several months.  Supposedly, most hemorrhoids go away on their own eventually but often get worse in the postpartum period due to pushing during delivery.

Worse?  Crap.

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June 1, 2010. Colitis is Fun (Not), Pregnancy #4, Way Too Much Information.

4 Comments

  1. meg replied:

    Best movie ever. Well not really, but a pretty good one. I had many a dream about Stan…

    Feel better tushie.

  2. Caro replied:

    Ouchie!

  3. Nicole Baker replied:

    Let me forwarn to do as much as you can now while they are not bad. Yes, it can get worse. Take my word for it, I have been there, and it WAS NOT fun. Take stool softner if you can and drink a lot of water. I don’t want to scare you or gross you out, but just take care of yourself.

  4. The Preconceptionist replied:

    Good luck, mama. That’s a pregnancy experience I’m hoping to dodge. Feel better.

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