Oh, To Be This Naive

Expectant Mom Carnie Wilson Reveals Baby’s Name

1.  She’s 40.

2.  She’s barely four months pregnant and not due until August.

3.  When she found out she was pregnant,  she immediately told her 3-year old daughter and they jumped up and down together in the kitchen.

4.  She also drew a little family around her positive pee-stick and hung it on the door for her husband to see.

5.  She openly referred to herself as a “fertile Myrtle” on broadcast television.

This is a woman who not only has never had a miscarriage; nay, this is a woman who, at 40, never even entertained the possibility of a miscarriage.  She has already freakin’ publicly named the baby and she is barely 4 months pregnant.  Oh, to be this naive again.

I can’t decide if I am jealous or if I really hate her.

Okay, I know I hate her but I am trying decide if perhaps I am also a wee bit jealous.

January 13, 2009. Celebrity Fertility Smut, Fertile Myrtles, Stupid Is As Stupid Does. 4 comments.

Celebrity Fertility Roundup

Halle Berry is 41 and 3 months pregnant.  J-Lo is rumored to also be pregnant.

Nichole Kidman had two miscarriages: one when she was 23 and another in 2001, when she was 34.

Paris Hilton“I want kids next year, so I’ve got to get my body ready.”

There are so many snarky things to say about Paris Hilton, I literally don’t know where to begin.  Perhaps after my glass(es) of wine tonight, I will write some of them down.

September 4, 2007. Celebrity Fertility Smut. 9 comments.

Dear Universe,

I am so glad she has not had to struggle with infertility or miscarriage. I am glad all the drugs/alcohol/eating disorder/exceptionally bad life decisions have allowed her to carry her baby past the first trimester.

Yeah, well, fuck you, too.

MC

August 1, 2007. Celebrity Fertility Smut. 2 comments.

People I Would Like to Run Over With My Car

… because I am just that bitter.

Her

Her

Her

People For Whom Death By Car Is Too Nice

Them

Her

July 5, 2007. Celebrity Fertility Smut. 4 comments.