8 Things About Me

As it was Fertility Eve, I was grading my midterms (26 all-essay undergraduate exams) in order to prepare for our week o’lovin and, as luck would have it, Ms. Planner also nominated me for the “8 Things About Me” meme. I am done with all my grading, we are lovin’ed out, and now I finally have time to post this.

Thing #1: I applied to and almost went to the U.S. Naval Academy. I did get a congressional nomination, but, alas, I did not get in because I wear glasses and did not qualify for a vision waver. In hindsight, it would have been an awful fit. At the time, I was devastated. Now, people that know me think this is hilarious because it was obviously such a spectacularly bad idea.

Thing #2: I was raised Episcopalian. My husband is Jewish. We will raise any future children (should we ever get to that point) as secular humanists.

Thing #3: I have an unhealthy obsession with office supplies. Seriously. Not the computer kind, but the real kind: pens, sticky notes, folders, notebooks, etc…. I could easily drop hundreds and hundreds of dollars in an office supply score and spend the rest of the day giggling gleefully over my purchases.

Thing #4: I am 5’9″. I have been this height since I was 12 and no, junior high was not fun. Now, I wish I were taller by just a few more inches. I think 5’11” sounds like a lovely height — tall enough to be tall but not quite 6′ tall. In the meanwhile, I am 5’11” in my “power boots.”

Things #5: I do not regularly wear shoes that cost less than $100. My favorite brands are Dansko, Paul Green, and Cole Haan. I really want to wear high heels as I appreciate their aesthetic, but I have very little tolerance for discomfort.

Thing #6: My husband and I were married by a female judge. Neither one of us cared where we got married and we did not want a religious ceremony (although the same can not be said for my uber-WASPy parents). I also do not believe in engagement rings, but if I tell you why, you will think that I sound like a raving crazy because I will use words like “patriarchal,” “commodity” and “superficial expression of emotion.” Not wanting a huge diamond apparently makes me a bad WASP. Instead we spent money on a 10-day honeymoon in Paris.

Thing #7: I once watched “That 70’s Show” so often that I regularly had dreams I was a cast member. I was always Hyde’s girlfriend, but I also got along really well with Donna.

Thing #8: I am a complete slob and an utter perfectionist. An unlikely combination, I know, but I think that I so completely anal-retentively obsess over some things that I have no time or energy to care about others. In my public life I think I come across as very organized; my living room, bookshelves, and bedroom are, however, a complete cluttered mess. The kitchen is only clean because Mr. MC keeps it that way.

I now nominate Babystep for the “8 Things About Me” meme. Babystep, you’re IT!!

October 20, 2007. Little Known Facts, Meme-y Goodness. 8 comments.

Maxi Pads

When I was in the hospital for both of my miscarriages, I was given the most institutional looking maxi pads to use. They were thick, they were long, and they clearly had never heard of fancy new innovations like “dry weave” for comfort and “wings” for extra protection. They did actually adhere to your underwear with adhesive (I am too young to have ever used the “clip” models but I read about them in Are You There God, It’s Me, Maragaret?) but the adhesive is not great and sometimes it comes right off with with the paper it is attached to, leaving you with an un-stickable pad. No worries, however, because once I was admitted, the nurses on the maternity ward gave me stretchable/disposable underwear to help keep the pad in place.

When you first go into an ER and are “actively miscarrying” (i.e. your cervix is open), it is easiest just to remove you underwear completely, but you are in so much pain modesty is the last thing on your mind. You will show your bajingo to anyone who promises pain relief and/or anyone in scrubs. They lay you down on the dishtowel sized “ookie pads” (because they catch all sorts of ookie stuff) and they then plop an institutional pad under you. You will go through several of these in an hour and the nurses will want to change them; it helps them quantify blood loss (i.e. 2 pads an hour vs. 10 pads an hour).

When you leave the hospital, they will give you several of these maxi pads to take home with you (and several “ookie pads” if you ask nicely). I took the five they gave me, and then shoved about five more in my husband’s backpack, because they last thing I wanted to do when I left was go maxi pad shopping. I used a couple, but most of them are still in my upstairs bathroom (less likely to frighten our guests).

When you visit your OB after a miscarriage, he/she will tell you not to expect your normal cycle pattern to return: your cycles could run longer/shorter, your flow could be lighter/heavier, and your PMS could be worse/completely go away. In my case my body opted for shorter, much, much heavier, and worse.

Given my predilection for yeast infections, I tend to shy away from tampons for a few cycles after I have taken antibiotics. I took them this month when I had the HSG and just looking askance at my O.B. tampons will require a week-long date with “Madame Monistat” (or her less expensive sister, “Madame Generic Monistat,” as is the case in my house/bajingo). So, here I sit, instead thinking about and blogging about maxi pads.

I prefer the Stayfree “Ultra Thin” Regular with Wings (which have “Clinically Tested Odor Neutralizers” — talk about a job that no one wants), but these are not for “super-duper heavy post-miscarriage WTF is wrong with my cycle” flow. I ran out of the “Long Super Maxis with Wings” last cycle, and I forgot to buy more, so here was my choice: generic, hospital super maxipads or my tried and trusted Stayfree “Ultra Thin.” I was weak and I underestimated the ability of my uterus to bleed, so I selected the “Ultra Thin.” I made the wrong decision.

Here I am again using the hospital maxi pad again because I am bleeding heavily again after a miscarriage. Admittedly a strange time for reflection, but I am so much better than the last time I used them, when I was bleeding and cramping in the ER after my second D&C. I know a little bit more about what is going wrong, I have a plan of action, and I know that this cycle is unpleasant, but that this aberration is perfectly normal. I am not in the process of losing a baby; I am trying to ready my body to grow another one. I am not so emotionally raw, although I am still very sad. All in all, I can see how much better I am now that two months ago, but I still have a long way to go.

Tonight, however, I am going shopping for the blessed Stayfree Supers.

August 7, 2007. Little Known Facts, Trying Again. 9 comments.

Stranger Than Fiction

In one of the initiation rights of blogging, here are the best search terms that people used to find my blog in July:

  • “pelvic exam” husband
  • enormous breasts
  • what is wrong with Demerol
  • little known facts about babies
  • “beating my husband”
  • bad menstrual cramps excessive poo
  • what does a 38DD look like
  • bajingo
  • target cashier
  • does pregnancy hurt the dog

I can pretty much assume that anyone who got here via these terms was gravely disappointed to find a miscarriage blog.

Update: new ones just in:

  • pesto miscarriage
  • husband can’t cum trying to conceive

August 3, 2007. Little Known Facts. 4 comments.

Baby Aspirin is Not For Babies?

Baby aspirin, or “low-dose” aspirin as the bottle now reads, was originally given to babies and children.  It is 81mg, or less than a third of a typical 300mg dose.  People used to give their kids aspirin until 1963, when Dr. Reye and his colleagues published an article detailing the problems of aspirin use in children and teenagers with viruses. 

Dr. SBS wants me to start on baby aspirin as part of my magical anti-miscarriage regimen.    

My Poop doc said  in theory — aspirin could aggravate my colitis.  Baby aspirin is much lower than a typical dose, so it might not.  I can try it and if it does not agree with me, it will be pretty obvious.  (I will leave how it will be obvious to your imagination.) 

I have decided that the baby aspirin and the thyroid meds are going to work miracles.  Do you hear that universe?  Freakin’ miracles   


July 12, 2007. Little Known Facts. 2 comments.

Public Service Announcement

NOTE: Artsweet and I live in the same town, but this probably applies to any grocery store, so I thought I should be a good blogger and warn you all.

Dearest Artsweet,

DO NOT go to the fabu grocery store by us on a Friday night about 7PM. There were — and I am not exaggerating — 14 heavily pregnant women wearing super-tight t-shirts and rubbing their enormous tummies there tonight. It was like a freaking circus. THEN, just when I thought I could not take it anymore, the guy behind me in line brought his super-preggo wife, who was, of course, also standing right behind me as I attempted to flee the premises (but not before paying for my organic yogurt smoothies, soy chips, and green tea), pink roses “just because she was such a beautiful mommy-to-be.”


Public Service Announcement, Part II:

Contrary to the posters of the smiling babies and the big banners that read “BABY SALE” all over the front of the store, they do not actually sell babies at BabiesRUs. Bastards.

June 29, 2007. Little Known Facts. 3 comments.

The Big “DUH”

This tidbit is from a newsletter published by my new, magical RE’s office.** I like how they bury the information in #5 right in the middle of the list. I think, like, maybe, that this should be first? Or at least second?

**Artsweet and Pili have gone to the same magical RE who was, uh, (how to say this delicately) less than magical for them. So, in honor of their experience, I will now refer to him by Artsweet’s name (even though I have yet to meet him), Dr. Short-but-Sweet (Dr. SBS).

When does it make sense to see a genetic counselor?
If you are pregnant or planning a pregnancy, you may want to consider genetic counseling in the following situations:

1. you need information about genetic testing
2. you are female and over age 35
3. you have family members who have genetic disease, birth defects, mental retardation, learning delay, or unusual health problems
4. you have a history of fertility problems, multiple miscarriages, stillbirths or infant deaths
5. you and your partner are related
6. you have concerns about conditions more common in your ethnic group (ex: Cystic Fibrosis in Caucasians, Sickle Cell Anemia in African Americans, Tay Sachs in Jewish Americans, etc.)
7. you are considering adopting a child with a genetic condition
8. you have concerns about prenatal exposure to medications, drugs, chemicals, radiation, or infection

June 17, 2007. Little Known Facts. 1 comment.

Little Known Facts

Sour cherry Icees from Burger King, I have found, actually have antiemetic properties. A small costs $.99 and large $1.49.

Zofran, which is also an antiemetic, costs $316.00 for a 30 day supply as a generic fill with insurance coverage.

You can not adopt from China if you are on anti-depressants or if you have taken anti-depressants or seen a therapist in the last two years.

June 2, 2007. Little Known Facts. Leave a comment.