Not Sorry

Mr. MC (and Belinda) think I am being too hard on my FB friend.  Perhaps.  But I am not sorry.  So there.

Of course I could leave her alone.  I could unfriend her and go about my merry way.  But I can’t.  Really, I can’t.  I am just so repulscinated (repulsed + fascinated) by the whole thing.  I can’t look away.

Of course it is her choice to announce whatever she wants whenever she wants to.  What gets me is that she is not even 5 weeks pregnant and she just told hundreds of people that there will be a baby at the end of May.  Not that she is pregnant.  Not that she is hopeful that there will be a baby at the May.  No, she announced that there will be a baby at the end of May because she got a positive pregnancy test.*  And then 25 people told her how freakin’ wonderful that was and that they couldn’t wait to meet her beautiful new baby.  And then her husband announced it to hundreds of more people.**  And then more people told him how they couldn’t wait to meet the baby.

Again, she is not even 5 weeks pregnant.

Is it unfair of me to judge her?  Probably.  But I am filled with disgust because I know, as do many, many people, that a positive pregnancy test does not mean baby.  I am annoyed that this couple and many of their friends are jumping up and down with joy instead of at least entertaining the thought that something could happen.  There is not a hint of caution.   And at 5 weeks, nothing is guaranteed.

Mr. MC thinks I am jealous.  I don’t know that I am jealous; perhaps I am bitter.  Mostly,  I am just annoyed at how stupid she is.  Not stupid because she told people she was pregnant ( for example, I had to tell my officemate when I was only a few weeks along because I was puking by that point) but that she and her husband had no hesitation to broadcast it via Facebook.

To be fair, I am generally annoyed by stupid people and I find naivete irritating instead of charming.  I consider myself a generally happy person, but I do not live in a happy bubble.  These people live in a happy bubble and, frankly, it’s just a little too “rainbows and unicorns” for me.

I know how lucky I am.  Really, I do.  I have two healthy, happy children.  I have also had the inside of my uterus scraped out twice.  I have seen an empty sac on an ultrasound.  I have watched a dying embryonic heart.  The miscarriages made me a better mother and — dare I say it? — a better person.

This probably makes no sense and perhaps I should just stop trying to explain why I am so horribly judgmental and upset by this.  Actually, I know I should.  But I can’t.  Really, I can’t.

*Exact quote: “Baby _______ , The Sequel, due to a hospital near you on or around May 26th, 2011.  Previews to follow.”

**Exact quote: “Oh, by the way…baby #2 is in the oven and cooking away!”

September 23, 2010. Stupid Is As Stupid Does. 12 comments.

Bitch, Please

Remember my “friend” from Facebook who announced her pregnancy on FB before her first u/s?

She just announced her second pregnancy.

She is 4 weeks / 4 days pregnant.  (I did a “reverse” look up calculation based on the due date she gave.)

She is clearly a MORON.  I hate her for being so stupidly optimistic.  I don’t wish miscarriage on her, but doesn’t she even THINK about it?  That it MIGHT happen to her?  Who has this kind of hubris?

Bitch, please.

September 22, 2010. Stupid Is As Stupid Does. 6 comments.

I am Weak

I was riding home on the bus and the urge to pee on a stick was just overwhelming.

I knew it was too early, but I just couldn’t help myself.

My cheapo tests are not here yet so I used a First Response ( = $$) to test on 7-8 dpo.

I know this is not going to shock you, but it was negative.

Then I ripped the test apart and really looked at it.

Still negative.

I hate the two-week-wait; it turns me into a lunatic.

(… and then I went upstairs and fished it out of the garbage to have another look.  Still negative.  Pathetic. )

November 9, 2009. Another One?, Stupid Is As Stupid Does, Waiting Around is Not For Sissies. 1 comment.

Fill In the Blank

This phrase brought someone to my blog:

“What if my teenage son wants to suck on”

Lucky them, they got this blog.

What on earth did he want to suck on?

My mind goes to dirty, dirty places.

June 24, 2009. Stupid Is As Stupid Does. 2 comments.

On the Edge of Your Seat

I know you have just been dying to know what my Facebook friend’s lastest update is.

Here you go:

“ok, so the kiddo is smaller than a grain of rice here but… c’mon… have you seen a cuter piece of rice?!”

She still has the u/s photo as her profile picture.  Again, who the heck posts u/s pictures in a public formum when their “kiddo” is only only the size of a grain of rice?

She is really pissing me off.  I can’t unfriend her, though, because I can’t look away.

Besides, other bloggers can talk about (proto-) baby #2, and my life is just not that interesting right now.

April 29, 2009. Fertile Myrtles, Stupid Is As Stupid Does. 3 comments.

Without A Shred of Irony

My Facebook “friend” — Ms. Fertile Myrtle — just joined this Facebook group:

“Smacking Stupid People in the Face So Hard They Might Get Smarter.”

I fucking kid you not.

Oh, and I deleted my congratulatory note to her.

April 20, 2009. Fertile Myrtles, Stupid Is As Stupid Does. 5 comments.

Of Course

There is a new FB update: they found a heartbeat.

“OH BABY!! the kiddo has a heartbeat! Amazing… my husband and I have accomplished what millions and millions of people before us have… and it’s still a miracle!”

She changed her profile picture to the ultrasound photo.  It’s still so early that the yolk sac is double the size of the “baby.”

It is taking every ounce of self-control that I have not to write, “I sure hope it keeps on beating because it would really suck to have to announce to 161 people via Facebook that the heart stopped at week 9.”

I know, I am such a bitter bitch.

April 17, 2009. Fertile Myrtles, Stupid Is As Stupid Does. 6 comments.

A Fool and Her Peestick are (Too) Soon Posted

I have an acquaintance, actually a friend of an ex-friend, who I am “friends” with on Facebook.

She posted an update a few weeks ago that she was “officially ‘in the family way.'” I was genuinely excited for her and wrote her a little congratulatory note.  I was impressed she got pregnant the very first month because they had only begun trying in February.

Well, she had gotten pregnant quickly, but not as quickly as I had assumed.  I assumed that she announced it on Facebook when she was into the second trimester.


Today her status update read: ”  ________  is really excited to find out if the lima bean has a heartbeat yet…

She posted on FB that she was pregnant the same day she got a positive pregnancy test.  She had not even seen the heartbeat.   She was not even a few weeks along, let alone into the second trimester.

I hope that everything is okay, I really do, but … well, if you are reading this, you know why I hesitate.  Even I was not that naive before my first miscarriage.

Her friends are already planning her baby shower and all the cute gifts they are going to get her, yada, yada, yada.  I think she is a fool, but maybe that is just my bitter cynicism.

April 14, 2009. Fertile Myrtles, Stupid Is As Stupid Does. 8 comments.

Oh, To Be This Naive

Expectant Mom Carnie Wilson Reveals Baby’s Name

1.  She’s 40.

2.  She’s barely four months pregnant and not due until August.

3.  When she found out she was pregnant,  she immediately told her 3-year old daughter and they jumped up and down together in the kitchen.

4.  She also drew a little family around her positive pee-stick and hung it on the door for her husband to see.

5.  She openly referred to herself as a “fertile Myrtle” on broadcast television.

This is a woman who not only has never had a miscarriage; nay, this is a woman who, at 40, never even entertained the possibility of a miscarriage.  She has already freakin’ publicly named the baby and she is barely 4 months pregnant.  Oh, to be this naive again.

I can’t decide if I am jealous or if I really hate her.

Okay, I know I hate her but I am trying decide if perhaps I am also a wee bit jealous.

January 13, 2009. Celebrity Fertility Smut, Fertile Myrtles, Stupid Is As Stupid Does. 4 comments.