Results of NT test:

Odds of genetic abnormality for my age: 1/490

Odds of wee-beastie having a genetic abnormality: 1/10,000

Very good odds.

The cost of dry-cleaing my coat: $18.00

The cost of having someone else steam-clean my car: $25.00

Showing up on your mom’s front porch covered in puke from head to toe because you just projectile-vomited in the front seat of your car?

Priceless.

… it’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

I am 15.5 weeks today and still waiting for the nausea to abate.

I was back in the ER last weekend because I was dehydrated from all the puking (like four-times-in-one-day puking; like projectile-vomiting-all-over-my-car-while-driving puking) and had developed a wicked migraine (like the- kind-of-migraine-that-didn’t-respond-at-all-to-8mg-of-injected-morphine migraine).  Two bags of IV fluid and a hydrocodone script later and I was almost as good as new.

It’s not as bad as last time, but it is still very difficult to watch S, work, write, and regularly succumb to bouts of debilitating nausea.

I have an OB appointment tomorrow.  Nothing terribly exciting happening as no ultrasound is planned.

Good news?  I continue to lose weight.

Pregnancy can cause constipation.  Codeine can cause constipation.  The two in tandem, well, pretty much guarantees constipation.

I was, ahem, using the loo when I looked down and saw bright red blood in the toilet.  My heart stopped and I heard myself gasp.  After two miscarriages, bright red blood scares the crap out of me.  It took me a few seconds to realize that it was not coming from my bajingo, but instead was due to, uh, constipation.

Then the adrenaline hit and I started shaking and threw up.

It’s the only time in my life I was actually glad my ass was bleeding.

Pregnancy is so glamorous.

Edited to Add: I am not making this up.  I could not make this up.  Someone typed in this phrase a few days ago and found my blog: “do miscarriages go through the butthole?”  This was before I put this post up.   Yeah.

The NT test was fine.  Good, actually, with a low 1.3cm measurement.  I still have to wait for the bloodwork, but there are no “soft” (i.e. visual) markers for a chromosomal problem.  The wee-one was also moving quite a bit and giving us all an entertaining show.

I was finally able to sleep this afternoon after tossing and turning most of the night.

Now back to our regularly scheduled evening puke session.

I tried to watch the Golden Globes tonight and ended up puking halfway through.   Nothing to do with the awards show, but instead an on-going symptom of my “evening sickness.”  I may never eat vegetable tempura again.  Pregnancy, at least the first 16 weeks, is a fantastic weight-loss regime for me.  To date, I have dropped about 10 lbs. since I found out I was pregnant.

Tomorrow morning we have our NT screen.  I am terrified.  Please, please, please let everything be okay.  The little heartbeat was nice and strong on my doppler, so I am trying to be positive.  The perinatologist just has me totally freaked out about my age and it is hard to be optimistic.   Based on my age, the odds are 1/400, which are pretty good odds.  But still.

Tomorrow I am 13 weeks and classes start again on Tuesday.

I am 12w1d and that means one important thing: NO MORE PROGESTERONE TAMPON THINGEES TO SHOVE UP MY BAJINGO!!!

I used the little yellow capsules last time and they stained all my underwear.  This time I had a white cream in a tampon-like applicator, which made a horrible farting noise when you squeezed out the cream.

Nausea/vomiting is still here but is only debilatating in the evening.  Benadryl seems to be the only thing that works as I throw up all the other stuff, including the prescription Zofran.

I am scared shitless about the nuchal translucency test on Monday.

My OB wanted me to see a perinatologist because I am now taking two different antidepressants and thyroid medicine, in addition to all of the recurrent pregnancy loss drugs.  She was pretty sure there was no problem with anything but just wanted a second opinion.

I arrived for my appointment 5 minutes early, only to sit for 45 minutes because the office staff could not process that I am covered under my husband’s insurance and he has a different last name.  In the meantime, I got to see a Juno-esque couple, who look like regular acne-covered geeky kids, except that she was about 7 months pregnant.  They were there with her mom and both of his parents.  There was no way they were older than 15 and, needless to say, I found the whole thing utterly fascinating.

I finally get back to see the doctor for a consult (no undressing; no bajingo probe) and we talked about all of the medicine I was taking.

Here is what he meant to say:

Yes, you take a lot of medicine, but it is all medically necessary.  They do not pose a high risk to your fetus and are, as much as any drug really can be, considered “safe” in pregnancy.

Here is what he said:

“After looking at your file, the highest risk factor in your pregnancy is not the medicine you are taking, but instead is the fact that you are over 35.  You are of  ‘advanced maternal age,’ which is a scientific construct, but carries with it increased risks of genetic abnormalities and pregnancy complications.  Your antidepressants are not what are putting you in the ‘high risk’ category but the potential diminished quality of your eggs due to age.”

So, in summary, no, I should not worry about all of the medicine.  I should, however, be on the verge of panic about my age and if I were any sort of responsible person, I would have started having kids when I was 15, when my eggs were still nice and fresh.

I wish that I could take all the women who have said things to me like “I looooooved being pregnant” and “I had really bad morning sickness too … I even threw up once” and “why, I just never had any nauseau — I just breezed right through the first trimester” and lock them all in one room and throw up on them.

How many pregnancies?

“Four”

How many live births?

“One.  So far.”

See?  I can be optimistic.

I am back to my regular OB.  No more weekly ultrasounds, but I can now pick up the heartbeat on my home doppler, which is very reassuring.  I am still nauseated and vomiting, but I am hoping that it will ease up soon.  The depression, thanks to 300mg of Wellbutrin, is getting better, too.

I am of “advanced maternal age” so I am having the “Sequential Screen” done in 2 weeks.  It is bloodwork, a NT exam, and then more bloodwork 3-5 weeks later.  Needless to say, I am terrified something will be wrong.  I hope they get the results back fairly soon, as I am going to be a wreck until then.

We saw a heartbeat today, but the wee-beastie was too small to really record anything.  Measurements were right on track, with the yolk-sac dwarfing the actual embryo.

Still nauseated.  Still extremely tired.

At the dentist (!!) this morning, she noted that my thyroid was very enlarged, so the RE’s office ran more thyroid tests.

Next ultrasound next week.

(exhale)

I feel like someone drugged me.  I have slept away most of Thanksgiving weekend.  This is not the kind of sleep where you dose in bed, somewhere between the conscious and unconscious realm; this is the kind of sleep where you roll over and look at the clock and it has been 5 hours since you last looked and you have pillow creases all over your arms  (presumably face, too, but you are too tired to get up and look in the mirror)and you don’t feel one bit more refreshed than when you first laid down.

Mr. MC has been on S duty all weekend, thank goodness.

I remember this fatigue from pregnancy #3, but it was not such a big deal because there was not a little person around who needed to be changed/fed/hugged/kissed/entertained/bathed.  I don’t know how I am going to make it if this fatigue persists.  My mom just doesn’t seem to understand just how very tired I am and subtly suggests there is something wrong with me.

The nausea has also kicked in.  I am super gaggy and retchy, but have not puked yet.  Mr. MC changed a nasty diaper tonight or I would have ralphed by now.   I don’t know what I am going to do if I get a poopy diaper and I am home alone becuase the smell alone makes me gag.

I feel like a freak.  I have also not seen a heartbeat yet, so this could be all for naught.

Ultrasound today with the dildo-cam revealed one sac.  According to the nurse, it’s too early to expect to see anything more than that.   So, once again, we wait for next week’s ultrasound.

Lab results:

HCG =  5878 (I started my HCG injections, so this is skewed by the shots)

Progesterone = 21.7 (good number, but again skewed by all the cream I shove up my bajingo)

TSH = 3 (I was told that under 2 was ideal, but since this is still “normal” they are not going to up my thyroid medicine)